New Toy

Bags of text to come

GANGNAM STYLE

Who what why ~ Now so famous I need post some explanatory info'.

Ridiculously catchy

Not since C-Lo's "Fuck you" have i had such a good response.

His dancing is truly gifted and weird.

LEGS: own up, we only watch it for the foxy Hyuna

Some weird and wonderful offshoots - Cheerleader take-off

Cool interview - what a nice, polished chap he seems.

Hyuna again.And again, a good example of what must be Korean video style and their Bieber baby male stars.

GANGES STYLE - it had to come - everyone knows Indians kick ass when it comes to this kind of dancing. [Memo to self: send to My Lord Moss of Ma Wangnam Style; good for his education and the Indian one will amuse].

GANGNAM BLIGHTY - i have to stop undating this post. With every listening, it's catchier and cleverer.

Everything u wanted to know about gangnam but were too tragically hip to ask.

Plebgate

PLEBS

Pleb insult ~ Mitchell has had it. He sounds worse with every sound bite.

What amuses me is his owning up to the rest of the language but not the most obvious - for him, the spot-on use of 'pleb'.

He can't be expecting us to believe that, out of the blue, Inspector Plebby Plod is going to plonk 'pleb' in his mouth. Way above his vocabulary pay grade ... except that ...

In Mitchell's shoes, character and background, what the fuck else would one call the Filth.

But don't you adore the cuttingest remark of the whole encounter - and which most people seem to have missed - the fact that with all his bluster and foul mouthery, he still doesnt cowe the honest peelerine past a mere claim to chief whippery. That must gall the intemperate 'Thrasher'.

I've been going round asking like-minded, like-educated types what other word fits the bill coming from the Mitchell marf?

There ain't none. The rhythm and choleric circumstances leave no alternative on top of which the pleb Filth are hardly going to come up with that word on their own.

I used to bandy it about soon after school but none of my new play or workmates fronking understood it (the plebs), so i went back to the sort of lingo they understood.

Story of my life: speak and write to the enjoyablest of my ability and instead of collecting a knuckle sarnie or my guitar kicked in it's like "You wha'? Blimey, we don't all talk like Shakespeare."

In America they have a special category, enabling my Amazon colleagues to halt me mid-QA correction with a "Dude! We're not all English Majors." I still dont know what an english major is - possessor of colonial A-levels in English? Uni degree?

Anyway, Mitchell is going to need a make-over and that pink tie has to go.

STOP PRESS ~ Mitchellgate ~ thick-skinned pleb plods refuse apology. This has legs.

Full 442-word report.

"... several members of public present ... Mr Mitchell said:

'Best you learn your f------ place . . . you don’t run this f------ government . . . you’re f------ plebs.’ ”

Chief Whip warned that he if he continued to swear he would be arrested under the Public Order Act."

Official police log - including 'Mad-dog' Mitchell unwisely trumpeting his puny job as if it carried any weight or entitled him to insult our noble peelers.

"Take heed, sirrah; the whip", indeed.

The next few performances at the Almeida? That line will bring the house down.

In the eye - do you see where we're going with this? 'Mad-dog' made direct, un-Englishly eye contact with Dave, and vowed by his cat-o'-nine-tails that he did not use THAT WORD. Same as Clinton did not 'make love' to Monica and, even wayer back, Jack Profumo didn't know about Christine and the Russkie.

A fib? Jack's kingdom for a fib? How quaint we all thought ... but now here's Mad-dog falling foul of a forked tongue.

Sound bite ~ Here's my guess: one of those shocked bystanders will get home and download that day's snaps and there in the background audio will be Mitchell effing and plebbing away. Out there somewhere is Andy's come-uppance that will give the lie to this whole sordid affair.

New Yorker ~ Quick crammer in advance of David Cameron’s appearance on Letterman.

THE MOTHER OF ALL GREEK GESTURES

Grab the closest book

A fellow Facebookista posts,

"It's international book week.

The rules: Grab the closest book to you, turn to page 52, post the 5th sentence as your status. Don't mention the title ...

'Suddenly a great fish took his hook, and before he knew where he was, he was dragged out and down into the water, to the bottom.'"

I do so but am not impressed by p52, sentence 5. I hunt about and choose:

"I was about to speak, when Carrie, in a temper such as I have never seen her in before, told me to hold my tongue."

The reaction from my 'Friends' is prompt and impressed. I don't think they have the faintest idea what it is about.

POLITICAL MUSICRY

~ Randy Newman ~ Jimmy Fallon ~

Two splendid performances:

Randy Newman dreaming of a white prez

Jimmy Fallon's unerring imitation of James Taylor

I'm going to give up - there were meant to be links which were easily fitted in before but now dont appear anywhere.

newman song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvLeQbwuKys ~ Fallon - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0uX36AczW0&feature=g-vrec

calendar filch

FACEBOOK ALBUM Sept 19 2012

~ calendar filch ~

Place marker for fuller artisticer blog post, more elaborate text drawing from FB captions, more effective lay-out.

The Theft that goes on thieving

Reads like esprit d'escalier, i know, but it's the splendid title that came to me as i was sifting thru the religious crap printed on the 2006/7 calendar pages, then slipped my mind and is now back with renewed purpose: I try to bring to my posts about the theft(s)the same dementia repeatia feel as I suffered at the dinner table and the endless dronings of the same stories and the same stuck needle on vile gardenry.

This would make a good Facebook foto album title to which to move new thievery pics once they've had their week's fame. Also a useful blog post title (if i persist with Blogger now they've 'upgraded' and made it impossible to use).

I know i strain for cute titles but it'd be much more convenient to have one sewage manhole to raise into which to dump theft updates. I could always have sub-sewage titles once the new garbage had been dumped but i'm thinking of newcomers and, of course, my unmet sons in law who will have a Bible's length of reading to catch up on the when/what/where/how/who of their missing bling from my girls.

No one is going to tell this tale of April 2007's thieving better than I and, as we see, new guilt, new excrement keeps adding to the fabric of filcherie.

CAN EXPATS BE FRIENDS?

A place-marker. i want to write a piece about this for Corfu Grapevine/Cofu Mouse.

GROSS MISCONDUCT ADMITTED

Harwood~Tomlinson

"PC Simon Harwood, the police officer cleared of killing newspaper vendor Ian Tomlinson during the G20 riots, has admitted his actions constituted gross misconduct and has twice offered to resign from the force, a hearing was told today." - Daily Telegraph

"Breached three of the four standards of professional behaviour listed on the charge: Use of force, authority, respect and courtesy, and discreditable conduct."

If Tomlinson hadn't been so drunk ~ Harwood mother-in-law.

Ach! If only the stupid moo had piped up earlier, we might have had some fun with it.

JOHN FORTE - DRAGON-SLAYER

JOHN FORTE OBITUARY

~ Daily Telegraph ~

A noble tribute to our John Forte - truly a National Treasure and truly ours, his DNA in every stitch and workaday fabric of our marvelous island.

Doesn't it warm the cockles when someone we know as wonderful is hailed on a deservedly wider front?

Athens News ~ one of the joys of trotting out this blog sans accountability is that I can toss a bouquet of my own without fear of the dread blue pencil ["Enough smarm - Ed].Loipon, my personal salute to AN's Damian Mac Con Uladh who is a joy to work with and is right there, a man who faffeth not and delivers.
He and I chatted on the 'phone and before I'd tilted the cap off the first Guinness, et voilà!, Damian had hammered out an online laurel.

Nadia Forte and Marjorie Holmes ~ charming photo on a radiant Corfu day. I thought I'd slip it in somewhere.

Personal ~ a memory.

Holy Trinity Church, Corfu - Bravo editrice Carol Sherratt asking for in time and making the deadline for our church's own coverage.Songbird~ grand-daughter Isabella Chakiris sang this at the memorial service. Wonderful voice.
Isabella actually played a recording of this moving rendering and I slightly teased her at the service for not singing it 'live'.
She said she could not have kept hold of her emotions.
When I played it later alone back home on my computer, I was blubbing by the third verse and had to hit 'pause' before I made a complete crybaby fool of myself in front of the animals.
How John would have been chuckling.
Again I say - and again - Well played, that man.

3-D painting

~ Seattle spider attaque ~

Giant arachnids appear to have invaded Seattle and are clambering all over this factory in a three-dimensional painting by Marlin Peterson.

He took two weeks to paint the piece on a rooftop using normal house paint after mapping it out so that the 3D would be effective when viewed from the nearby Space Needle.

I'm surprised some hot head hasn't
yet used this for a Facebook profile shot.

A SIN TO BREAK OFF

I've stopped saying that I 'mixed' with Christopher Hitchens. I hovered on the fringe of the Amis/Wheatcroft/Hamilton/New Staggers crowd and swam into focus whenever I was toting an author of interest ~ Bellow, Fuentes, Jong, Oz ... Piers' cannibals.

I never came into Hitch's focus which explains my unwavering admiration.

I post this review because it moved me and and sent me back to re-read passages and even copy out the passage about,

“For me to remember friendship is to recall those conversations that it seemed a sin to break off: the ones that made the sacrifice of the following day a trivial one.”

I'm going to send it to my shrink who accused me of winding him up by swearing that i'd never a hangover I didn't like. Hitch nailed what i was struggling to say.

But after going on about it and dabbing my eyes, i declared that i would *not* post it on Facebook that had the keeper of my conscience pursing lips and narrowing lids.

Why not? Too long, too morbid, too 'heavy'? Too private? Above everyone else's head?

Dunno.

And yes that's the pic i'm going with because that's how remember him and how i read him.

COMMENTS

Bra- bra- bravo just thinking of writing about commentaria.

I've tinkered with it in the recesses of my mind but been too scared to put digit to keyboard.

Good springboards for further thought, not to mention magnet for the silliest comments yet:

"Comment sections are actually frequented by a very small minority of readers. Industry averages suggest less than one per cent of the readership of any given article will comment.

At their worst, comments are like toxic waste buried under the foundations of an article and irradiating all rational debate with ignorance and aggression. And, like radiation, the effect of the internet commenting culture is spreading. ,p>The degradation of discourse online is mirrored in real-world dialogue. Adults who would balk at bullying in school playgrounds are happy to fling snide and often extremely aggressive comments around.

Working on a range of titles, I have seen the level of online debate get progressively worse.

The situation is particularly bad for female colleagues who have the temerity to write or, worse, appear in a YouTube video.

YouTube is home to the élite imperial guard of internet idiocy."

Wonderful last sentence, that.

Cue the divine Keyboard Warrieure who seems to have spawned so many imitators that I couldnt find it on Youtube and had to go back to my original blog post.

OPTICAL ILLUSIONS

But of the superior sort, as befits the Corfucian Irregulars.

ACHARAVI RAVE UP

That's torn it. Could not get Google album to behave so that i sent this to an exclusive list of fellow guests - thus avoiding the criticism recently breathed down my ear that, "Actually, dear boy, it's not really done to take photographs at private parties, let alone pubish them for all to see."

Ulp gulp.

So I'm reduced to posting a link au blog spot for all the riff-raff to see and give the lie to my line about living la vida far from loco.

... and another context for 'comeuppance'

"Truth as a transitory, flexible concept."

People chide me:

"Why don't you give it a rest ~ the filching, the luluthia stench of theft, Villa Thefti, Elginiasmos?

Enough already."

I tell them, don't ask about my Rehab, I'll say no, no, no.

Miles too much energy still pumping ... spirit's sailing, venom flailing, truth unveiling on those vain vile years.

They don't look convinced, and why should they? They just stood by simpering and being waited on, they weren't hock-deep in mendacious excrement.

I cannot wait to have them guess this passage.

It's coverage of the 'Battle of the Billionaires', but it could just as well be describiing Villa Thefti or defining my five years, eight months here.

Judge Dame Elizabeth Gloster delivers a spot-on summary.

I was having a quiet one down the 'Sweet & Savory' when my drinking companion exploded,

"Fuck me! If I wasn't reading it here I'd think it was one of your blogs nailing yer mum's famous porkies.

Listen to this: dot dot dot ... "

“ ... Regarded truth as a transitory, flexible concept, which could be moulded to suit current purposes ... At times dot dot dot ... inherently dishonest; sometimes, clearly making evidence up as [he] went along ... At other times, gained the impression blah blah not necessarily being dishonest, but deluded self into believing his own version of events.”

By the dementia of Demonica! Wonderful. Wonderful. Talk about nailing the filth of five years bang to rights.

I must post this for all the weakling wankers that stood by and watched my pathetic

"Yes, mum, no, mum,
Green fingers five, mum."

[Considerably Bowdlerised from what I sang in the chain-gang].

Also to my girls and I hope they include it with explanations to their blokes-to-be why their old man didn't leave no personal jewelry for his darlings to pass on.

Wonderful. And bravo that Lizzie Gloster and her turns of phrase.

[Don't you love my skilled juxta-snapping of the theft-ugly insect with vile treadmill gardenry? Says it in one.]

TMZ

~ and those photos ~

Oh boy. Oh boy ~ Can you imagine the meeting with Granny?

"Heir it is!"

MPs back Sun

Saved you surfing da good stuff! The Tmz clip is particularly well found.

Scandalousest of the scandalous

Rich 'n' Nekkid :

"Instead of a story about the prince's latest indiscretions, which would have blown over fairly quickly, we now have a story about attempts by the royal family to restrict the ability of the British press to publish information freely available via the internet across the globe."

FLEET TWEET TURMOIL ~

"How can press not run Harry pix when all over the net? If real, Harry security risk - blackmail target. Public interest in their exposure."

Dressing Down: "Morning, Windsor, come in, have a seat.

Actually, I dont see how downer I could de-dress you after that little tea party in Loss Vegas. So, to to point two: donating your wages to charity.

Hmm, no reason to be too hasty. If you'd just slip me the phone number of the young lady with the impressive 30-mil bazookas, I think we can call the matter closed.

By the way, everything under control at home? Granny in good spirits? Splendid! Give her my regards.

Met her once, pinned this medal on me. Proudest moment of my life. Just in case I've slipped her mind - name's Smythe, with a 'y'. Not be confused with Air Commodore Smith. Joined after me, did Smitty ... couldnt stand the blighter. Still managed to get promoted over me. Damn'd curious ... Gran might like to look into it, what? There's a good chap."

LOCKED AND LOADED OVER LUDGATE

Dateline Londres. Sparrow fart. "WTF? What sort of time you call this? Whoops, didn't see you there, sir. Beg pardon, sir. Apache on standby? Of course, sir. Cannons loaded.

Rockets? Can do. Flight plan? Ah right, sir, hush-hush job, it is. GPS, sir? That Afghan terrain can be tricky."

'Thank you, no. I think I can find the fucking Sun newspaper on my own, thanks very much'

"Right you are, sir ... cleared for take-off"

Wuss to come - splendid! I crave action in these clammy times. Flagrante fotos? Too tame. And there's meant to be a wad of Bransonia still to emerge. Mark my words, hovering Apaches, tears before tiffin.

Cressida crushed:
Harry offered $10M to star in own porn.

Courtesy Daily Mail ~ oodles more pics.

The beat goes on - VIDEO of Harry Hanky Panky.

REAL VIDEO

Rolling on shrooms

"Drunken fumble ... but so wasted." ~ “We kissed, he was naked at the time, and pretty open. It was a drunken fumble. It wasn’t romantic, just fun ... He was a gentleman, but he was so wasted."

Hmm, if he doesnt watch his wasted steps, he'll be walking his amnesiac ass into a well-stitched paternity suit.

-

TAX RECEIPTS

Usually, letters in Athens News with English names or UK addresses are a load of whingeing drivel, telling us how to run our lives or moaning about us not trying hard enough to enhance theirs.

The tax receipt letters I reproduce here are quite interesting and the paper's reply as to what constitutes a proper receipt is something I might print out and carry around on me.

What exactly constitutes a 'receipt'?

NOMIKI APODIXI

Receipt must state it is a Nomiki Apodixi

Name, address, and tax-roll number

Itemise goods/services and total

Full accounting for drinks ordered