You can take the rep out of the call centre but you can't ... etc

Actually, you can't do neither.

I've been roped in to coach some local phonistas and they are agog at my harshness and know-how - all filched from my time as galley slave on the Good Ship Bezosia.

En particulière my tips on:

Time sensitivity: Lose the kali mera or kali spera. You dont know the time zone from which the customer is calling so just greet with a 'Welcome to Alpha-Omega Corp. This is Mia, how can I help you?'

Bookshop reps: Avoid being conned by some slavering perv into reading out loud the title of his latest order. For example, he wants to hear you say, "Yes, Daddy, Yes! Omigod Yess! Right there", subtitled 'A parsing of erotic dialogue in Albanian cinema during the Hoxha years' - Snipcock & Tweed, €20.

"Yes, kyrios," you chirp, "I have your orders up on the screen. Loipon, I see we shipped the Manessi & Carithi to you on September 14th and the Boulgaris study of leather nether garments has been postponed by the publishers pending the court case. Is there anything else I can help you with? Efaristo, sir. Kali syn'ekia."

But back to the Centre; we're under attack, here and, indeed, here.

Comment - Well, OK, I come a cropper there on the prehistoric BBC clip (see Anon Comment), but therein lies a tale.

My favourite *Blighty mole sends me cuttings that she knows I'll enjoy, many of which I use such as her latest about Call Centres whose URL I promptly misplace. But I want to post something about CCs anyway so I surf and surf and can't find hers so i go for the best I can find (without bothering with mere trivia such as age). Which is odd, considering that, en forme, I'm one of the better proofreaders and editors I've come across (down to knowing that it's one word).

But Anon was there to catch it, and I'm always flattered to know that someone out there is reading this stuff.

Loipon, I will leave the ancient links in if only to remind one and all that,

"Those oft are Stratagems which Errors seem,
Nor is it Homer Nods, but We that Dream."

*Addendum ~ And, seeing me under fire, she sends me another, about Biggest BugBears.