12 January 2014


Plebgate #1 was getting a little long and tedious, I admit - Ms Anonymous was right to complain -  but I wanted to build such a comprehensive file on the whole PlodPleb scandal that no search engine could miss it, and it could double as a 1-stop link for all the dirt and dalliance a Philth-Philo could wish for.

Perhaps I'm wrong but I thought it might useful for anyone - filth included - wondering "Woss all this fuckin' plebgate stuff all abaht, then?" to have a page to call up with choice links and comments. Next, I thought that if it got big enough people from everywhere would keep falling over it: a junior constable in Shamshuipo district office clicks respectfully on Bernie Ho-ho's name and also gets a slice of plebgâteau.

Likewise Andy Mitchell ~ a little light reading and a supportive gesture from a fan.

But yes, brevity is all. I'll be a little fussier:

Wallis in the flesh - ugh.

2004 hrs, Corfu time:  Website fail

Freemasonry - plot thickens

Mission Creeps - have you noticed how very satisfactorily Filthophile is seeping everywhere, more and more 'names' being dragged into Plodgate with accompanying ink in the appropriate plebby press.

Untrustworthy figures, widespread fiddling

10 January 2014

PLEBGATE - Spokes Lies and Videotape

I don't know why I'm even bothering to open a post for this. 

I sensed from the start that the Fuzz were stitching Mitchell up the wazoo and that, in their usual ham-handed way, they'd balls it up, as they do any villainy above their savvy and pay grade.

The story so far:

'Plebes' - when the Economist steps in, we live in more interesting times.  

Yorkshire Post ~ I used to take top authors up to Richard Douro's YP Literary Lunches. The staff seemed a pretty no-nonsense gritty bunch. This Vaz-spaz shopping list of 'purposes' for which the 'force' has proved itself singularly unfit must have stirred some unamused belly laughs to compile.
  • Ensure corrupt officers no longer serve in 'force' 
  • Organised criminals able to infiltrate Scotland Yard at will
  • Able to corrupt police and access sensitive information to evade prosecution.
  • Ensure allegations fully investigated; confirm satisfaction that corruption no longer exists
  • 'Police', utmost integrity. Public must be able to trust them to do their job and ensure justice prevails.
  • "Vast" progress rooting out corruption over last 20 years; seems more 'may still need to be done.'
  • Pursue corruption in all forms and 'with all possible 'vigour'
  • Lessons learnt from resulting investigations to be used to further 'efforts' to reduce likelihood of such offences occurring in the future.
  • Fraternising with known criminals and informants leading to botched prosecutions and inquiries.
  • Cut down bribes ~ to destroy surveillance logs,  co-owning houses/racehorses with suspected gang leaders; sex with drug suppliers.
STOKING - "I think what the Tories do not understand, all this outrage, for members of the public it is not that he used the pleb word, it is that he used the 'F' word." One very stupid man, or he is trying to hi-jack this away from squashing Filth faces in the filth. It is only about the 'pleb' word and the mistake the 'police' made was to show what fucking plebs they are by choosing to have Mitchell say what invented. As I say, no 'normal' person would have had him use those words because ... he wouldn't. You have to be mired in plebeian constabulary dung to think people speak like that outside B.O.P or Eagle or dear old Jane's.

What is good is the stoking - more more, stir stir ... daily reminders of where the canker lies: 
"Here is a Cabinet minister coming out of 10 Downing Street and swearing at the officers who put their lives on the line every day ... "They (police) are not as trusted as they were, but I have to tell you they are much more trusted than politicians or members of the Cabinet." [Well, they clearly are not but let that be as it may; it's a good enough line. We are working towards adjusting the balance between Muck and MP] 
"What is bizarre is the amount of effort the Tory party is putting into stoking all of this up." There speaketh a man at the end of his resources - shove a tache on and he even looks a bit like Wallis. These types are all cut from the same cloth. 
 * "Discreditable conduct, honesty and integrity, and/or improper disclosure of information". I'm being at my unfunniest boringest and pretending that's the pass criteria for being accepted into the 'police' force. They should add mendacity and 'sense of invention' as a final test. 

Plethora of Plebgates ~ Och, even in the Scottish Herald ... this rolling thunder coverage ... one could almost stick a blindfolded pin into Google or blekko and come up with some reference or other to the ongoing brouhaha.
I keep praying for it all to reach a crucial tipping point when this whole wagon of Filth starts trundling headlong of its own volition and we finally have the shit/fan interface everyone's been expecting and is now unfolding in such grisly detail. You have to love them poulets coming home to roost.

FEB 6 - sentencing adjourned to Thursday February 6 "pending pre-sentence psychiatric reports." It just keeps getting better. Calendars peeled!
Feb 6 -  Voskolos / Fotios   Saints' days. Nothing much there.

  • Elizabeth II becomes queen regnant of the United Kingdom and the other Commonwealth realms upon the death of her father, George VI.
  • Munich air disaster 1958 ~ could also be a bit iffy for our national 'Police' Fibbery plc
  • Jimmy Tarbuck born Feb 6 - another joker. 

"Typical of this government’s out-of-touch and stuck-up attitude" ~ et voila! Bigots for you. We couldn't invent better self-exploding petards with which the Ho-ho hypocrites are hoisting their sorry asses. 

Negatively impacted ~ "Actions negatively impacted upon public trust and confidence in the integrity of police officers."

The most 'negative impact' is the sloppy language - where in God's name did he learn to slaughter the language like that? The Bullingdon?

Aside from illiteracy, no 'negative impact' at all - business as usual. 'Public trust, confidence, integrity' ~ give us a break, at least from these dated joke clichés.   

"Completely unacceptable ...  for a serving police officer to falsify an account of any incident". No prizes guessing who delivered this dozy quote. Wakey wakey! We wasn't filth'd up yesterday. 

Nominal 'Justice done' - nothing of the sort, of course. Lip service. The 'fun' (Ho-ho) will be to watch the Crony Smarm come into play and spin this into touch. (posts passim)

Police officer lied; dog bites man ~  χασμουρητό.

Crown court appearance

Why did he write it? Who else is involved?

As I point out to everyone, Central Casting is asked to send round an out-n-out low-life smarm-smelted crook.
"Jesus effing Christ, can't you guys get anything right? We asked for a sewer-sodden villain, not a stands-out-a-mile policeman."    

Ill Met by Goon Light - A little light reading - 

  • Scotland Yard rotten to the core, ho hum yawn (or rather Ho-Ho yawn), 
  • Met's ‘endemic corruption ... but a nice name to be going along with, Op Tiberius.
And what about this for a shopping list to please every pleb's heart? Absolutely no surprises but nice to see PC Tiberius spell it out:

  • Able to infiltrate Scotland Yard “at will” by bribing corrupt officers
  • Former and then-serving detectives accessed confidential databases
  • Provide specialist knowledge of undercover techniques to help evade prosecution
  • Take part in criminal acts such as mass drug importation and money laundering.
  • Murder investigations infiltrated 
  • Met’s inability to root out the problem ... Scotland Yard’s feeble commitment to tackle organised crime corruption in the ranks. 
“For whatever reason, the current approach is simply to wait for the corruption intelligence to surface and to then react to it,” 

Tense appearance - 'inadvertent' misquote - I don't even have to reach for my own bag of contempt ... "Fixed figures - at least partially true ... internal inquiry indicated some allegations wrongly downgraded/written off." Ho-ho, indeed.
In other words, exactly what the rest of us did long ago over this shower. 

'Fact'-ional Filth ~  Purgey Pyong-gate. My tenacious reportage reaches even the 'Great Successor' who totally 'gets' my fluent vernacular and has no intention of going the same way as Mr Mitchell. Right, Dennis?

Is 'factional' the policier bedmate of fictional? Ready to add factoid spin to their Pleb Pronouncements if they think anyone's watching?

I remember meeting a good ol' boy millionaire who ran his San Antonio Condo' Committee with an iron hand, eyes narrowing if an applicant couldn't trace his lineage back to the Alamo: 
"He may not carry the Star of David brand on his butt, but he's sure as hell Jew-ish."    
Resolute Action! Tighten revolutionary rozzer ranks ~ watch where you bike! ~ strengthen solidarity! 

'Scum elements ... factionalist Filth' ~ that constabulary word again! What have I been tirelessly trumpeting at you all this time? Britain does it best, getting thru at last. 

Ho-Ho Honour Row - I wondered how they were going to handle this. 

Rickie Eden in the Torygraph.

Plod Plaudit ~ Is Bernardo praying not to be found out? Oh for the headliner's art! Can you imagine the red-top fun to be had with variations on:  
" 'Howe' come? Ho-Ho hullabaloo over Plebgate plod plaudit."?

I highly doubt Bernie was asked "not to mention the knighthood, on the promise that it will be announced in the Queen’s Birthday Honours next June" but I've marked my calendar to keep an eye out for any irregular Royal ruses. 

Unaffected - And listen to this bilge: “I don’t think, from what I’ve heard up to now, that it’s really affected the original account of the officers at the scene.” 
Talk about factional Fuzz finagling. Scant wonder he was 'overlooked in the Queen’s Birthday Honours in June ... all three of his predecessors as head of the Met were knighted before they became commissioner.' Of course he was overlooked - he's up to his creased knees so high in deep Ho-Ho doo-doo that even Buck House couldn't countenance such hypocrisy.

Six of one, half a dozen of the other - I still dine out on my story of having dinner chez une amie whose lofty judge father was presiding over a headlining hogging case. Over the port, he joshed that he could sum up for the defence and the Accusèd would still go down.

Same with the Plebgate plonkers - it's a pleasure to run 'balancing' pieces casting doubt on the Mitchell camp because nothing they get up to is going to out-stink the years of policier pong reeking from our fibby gendarmerie.

Competing versions - I bet there's a number of plangent peelers wishing they could rewrite history - they'll just have make do with nobbling Mitchell on the old-boy network.

June, then - Liz's birthday door prizes. I must put feelers out to that Mandrake scribbler, see if he'd mind me feeding him whatever London-side Irregulières come up with in the meantime.   

Nothing to do with Plebbers - Owning up, this piece on the Enfield thugs and their bashy way with a baseball bat has nothing to do with Plebgate. It just caught my eye and I was like "Filth? Met? Dodgy methods? One for the Blog, I'll be bound."
Fisika they get orf so it does fit very well in here and it all contributes to the general filthorama to which we've had to become accustomed and now fit our lives around. 

1 question - how the devil was the camera so conveniently there and filming? Did the Police tip them off? In which case, wouldnt they have been a little more 'circumspect' about showing their true colours? I guess they just didnt bother, them being the Filth 'n' all and the Establishment on their side and carte blanche to slime out of any 'difficulty'.  

Runner-up word of the year - Stitcher-up word of the year, more like, but encouraging to see the infamy of the Filth still under scrutiny and held up for vocabulary vilification. Not long 'til the Tipping Point.  

RE-ITERATE GATE  ~ Now Nigellagate. Typical filth-faff 'statement' from our greasy po-leecy ... "a 'specialist team'  from the MPS to 'examine the evidence' ... blah rozzzing blah ... 'part of a 'review' into this matter ... to determine an appropriate way forward." Yeh right, 'Way forward' ~ why not just slime ahead as per usual, ffs? Why change  mode de wank now? 

'Commander' Stevie 'Weavey' Watson: "Evidence heard in trial ... 'implications', smear nudge wink ... posh word."  No wonder this whole bunch of discreditabiles has ended up as Exhibit B.  

Dented - Fiddlesticks! Met's reputation 'dented' by the affair? How more busted can it be? How lower in the ordure of our perception or expectations? 

Bernie Hogan-Howe: ace PR mugshot

"No doubt that some damage has been done."

Frinton Gazette, no less ~ Bernie Hogan Howe [ditto, see left]: 

  • Crime statistics "generally sound" despite investigations into serious allegations that officers are manipulating them to improve performance records
  • BH had said soon after the 'incident' that his officers "accurately reported what had happened". 
  • Asked whether he now felt he had been right to do that, he told BBC he had a responsibility to protect staff 'morale': "It's not an unreasonable statement after the person about whom the allegation is made ... apologised to the individual involved and then resigned from the Government."

Blah flucking blahr ... 'morale' blah drone, defensive simper slither ... I can't subject you further to to this greasy po-leecy roobish: read the article for yourselves, if you've the stomach. 

Rochdale Goof - sex - bungles - more apologies - ya know? I can't even be bothered to read this - saw the headline, blah blah, police apologise, their fault - blah blah - fronking incompetence laziness ~ PO-LEECY-NESS, why dont we just spell it out? Instead of mincing around with the usual crap polite vocab. 

I'll have to add a bucket category to this Plebgate post where I can simply shove reports of Police being Police (PBP) without having to depress/bore myself further by actually reading the same-old-same-old repeats of the Fuzz once again being filth'd out ....    

SORREE - splendidly and typical mealy-mouthed Leamington Observer report of Filthgate faffery over rozzer regrets ~ failure to discipline officers - false account of a meeting  - a lot of public confidence issues - questioned the 'honesty and integrity' [huh!] of the officers from the three forces - on the balance of probabilities, concurred with view of deputy chief constable [burble faff dissemble drone]- evidence did not support a conclusion that he had a case to answer for deliberately attempting to discredit Mr Mitchell - deeply regrettable for all involved that this situation has been reached [deeper regrets they were caught] - Believed clear lessons to be learnt for both the police service and, in particular, the Police Federation. 

Lesson 1 - Don't fronking get caught. 
(OK, chaps, mincing mea culpa delivered, business as usual. New guidelines on Pig Porkery on your desks asap. Upstairs will handle fall-out, sweep it under carpet, strings pulled, words in 'friendly' ears, favours called in, 'integrity' of Force massaged.  Legal still has some tricks under its wig. They don't call us The Police for nothing.)    

Pig Plod Poster Boy -  Wallis from West Drayton ~ as vile and filth fibbing as they come - 'misconduct' in public office between September 19 and December 16 2012 by saying he'd witnessed the incident and arranging for his nephew to support the claim.

Plebgate peeler, misconduct rap: yeh right. Not a fronking thing will come of it. Ranks will close, fetid Filth will rule.  

PC Keith Wallis
Misconduct -  Keith Wallis [right] who faces a misconduct rap for 'allegedly' sending an email to MP John Randall claiming to have witnessed Andrew Mitchell’s row with officers stationed at the Downing Street gates. 

I apostrophise 'allegedly' because you only have to look at that face to know 'Police'. Show that mug-shot to any member of the public and they would immediately identify it as classic Filth. Cast a villain in any movie and have the actor look like that and cast and crew will send him back to Central Casting with  a terse note, "Wake up! We're casting the bad guys not the fucking rozzers - they're next week, but don't lose this classic rozzer face.

What an appalling face. Cop written all over him.
  Yellow Advertiser ~ congratulated for shedding light on wrongdoing. But eeuww, 'yellow' - what a word to have in your name, more like something the Filth would come up with rather than a crusading rag that busts the bastards. For old China Hands like me, we can't forget Running Yellow Dogs. Whatever the name, we need all the help and vigilance we can get to screw the Pig Pitch and every case like this advances the message a few more inches and might just penetrate the Public's numb skull.  

Corruption Case Collapse - nothing to do with Plebagate - I dont think - but they're all of a type, arent they? 

8 Dec 2013 - Cop cornered - usual sickening sight of Filth fluffing their lines. 

Earlier postings ~ 
  • What "honesty and integrity"? This farce that people go through in dealing with or discussing the Filth. It's a waste of time, must have the police themselves in stitches. 
  •  Is it meant to make us look naive fools?  
  • No Case. Of course 'no case'; of course 'no misconduct case to answer'. 
  • Theresa May: ''The IPCC statement makes troubling reading.'' Duhh! Everything so obvious ... 
  • I was going to add 'watch this space' but we've watching the same old space from and about the police for so long ... I dunno, I'll leave it here but I don't think anything'll come along that'll qualify as 'news'. Not new News. 
  • Poverty of leadership (by the police federation) ... 'readiness to resort to completely inappropriate behaviour, which you would not expect of anybody but least of all police officers.' Comment Fail. You mean 'most of all.'
  • Owed apol - can you imagine the PR Plods drafting their leaden-voweled, mealy-mouthed graceless shift-blame of a release - all the while shuffling their feet in case of a good day to bury bad news. 
Deference - some reasonable points made, not that it'll make a jot of difference in the our culture of Toxic Filth. 

Oh how I pray that they cop it, that some commission outside their slimey masonic ranks-closing manages to nail them and they stay nailed. Won't happen. It'll get worst and Plebgate will only have hardened their resolve and taught them not to be so sloppy. 

All the same, the next candle I light at Jace and Sosi's will include a prayer for Payback at the Plebgate Corral. 

Fibbing Filth : "Apologise and Piss off." Top cop lashes lying 'colleagues' 

Language - It doesn't get any filthier than this, and how could it, since it's coming from the Filth?

Filthgate: exposé of arseholes 
First, let's fracking name them, shall we? Reports are dished up but the actual names are always tucked away:

Sgt Chris Jones, West Midlands

Insp Ken MacKaill, West Mercia

Det Sgt Stuart Hinton, of Warwickshire

Up before the Commons Home Affairs Select Committee. 

* That letter

Plebgate plotters

Spinning a yarn - the joke is ... I mean, look at them. If ever three faces proclaimed 'police' it's that tricky trio there. As for the 3 behind them, if they're not tyro piglets they're missing the plot (plod?) and should wake to their calling. 

Ooh, I'd love to see a composite of that front row ~ chris, stu and ken ~ dip in trust, indeed. There's only room for a dip because we already hold them in such low contempt.   

* Standing by their "accurate" account.

* "Not convinced we have done anything wrong" ~ as if they, the weasel wankers on the block, are the ones meriting convincing. 

Chief Inspector Jerry Reakes-Williams
The language gets even  obscener: "I do not consider, on the balance of probabilities, that the officers have lied." 

Balance of probabilities, huh! 

Like everyone, the Fuzz have a department of scribblers bending and defusing, upending and abusing our  language so that their mouthpieces can spout consistent filthspeke. 

No "deliberate intention to mislead ... some room for doubt and interpretation" about whether Mr Mitchell had given an "absolutely full account" of what took place.

Believed the officers should face misconduct charges but not the more serious charge of gross misconduct which, if proven, would result in potential dismissal. 

 Fuchsia fronking Christ! Potential dismissal: listen to the greasy mincing - 'Should do this but not that ... flah blucking flahr ...'

'If proven, result in potential dismissal' - If ? Potential ?  

How much deeper thru the doo-doo does the old bill intend to drag us? The wool they've already pulled over our ears and eyes drips weightily of policier poop - I just hope, I kneel at my bedstead, ring around the rosaries, praying for a vindicating vigilante to appear and deliver crisp justice with visible corpses and audible moanings by those spared pour encourager les autres

Just someone to cut thru the crap, brush aside the 'provens' and 'potentials', grab the razor and slash out -"Occam this!"  

It ain't gonna happen but a man can dream.  

Police LIES it should read - and will one day, very soon
ὀξύμωρον - Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Bernard 'Hogan-Howe' pretending he thinks 'plebgate' has 'clouded the public's view of the police.' Give over, Bernie, you lug-head - if anything, it's crystal clarified whatever contemptuous 'view' the long-suffering Public can be bothered to have after this. 

There'll be more to come - it's in their DNA.  

Jones, MacKaill and Hinton - name, blame, declaim and shame! -  the three 'officers' [see the foto above] said to have "damaged the honesty and integrity of the force" [my itals] . 

I've met some oξύμωρονic ordure in my time - people cite 'military intelligence' but there are better - but plonking 'honesty and integrity' to 'the force' is chutzpah par impudence

And how about alleged misrepresentation in a “clear the air” discussion? 'Clear the air' in the same sentence as anything to do with the workings of The Force? Where am I? Oxymoron Central? 

Clouding the public's view of the police
Clog and fog, more like like - from the same plod-pen Policier PR ["Stitchers of the gentry"] that we delight in holding up for mimicry and mockery. 

How I'd love to get a commission in that ministry of spoof - one long parody of language and truth, almost as challenging as parodying Weedon/Grossmith.    

* Let's clear the air with a musical doff of the cap to the house of lies

"Evidence most unsatisfactory" - Which of course it is and when I went looking for a juicy quote to extract, the whole news item stinks. Even the even-handed press can't write it up to read evenly and without reflecting the mealy-mouthed stench. 

Plods passim

Corfucius he say, 'One picture worth ...'. 

Actually, a picture like that is worth this whole angry post.  I couldn't have arranged them better - Madame Tussauds, curtained off, warning notice, 'Filth'.
Lie, deceive or mislead? Vive la différence. Exactly the debate that this shower hope it doesn't come down to.

"And still no apology" - even for the Filth, slimey slithering that gives PlodSlime a bad name. 

I'm actually pleased they're conforming to form because the longer they attract headlines and discussions like this, the deeper (and wider) will sink in the true DNA-ature of the 'force'. 

CLUE - and another clue, the medals aren't correct. 

Hippocratic Oath - just work it out ... people are talking about an 'oath' to keep the constabulary in line. Can there be any demeaninger humiliation? There can: we are dealing with the police.   

Defying Parody: pique performance. Hippocrat or hypocrite?

  • Blue flashing lights and sirens are for emergencies. Emergencies are things like not having a parking space, needing the bog or fancying a traffic-light-free run to Greggs.
  • If someone dies in police custody, you are absolutely not to blame. 
  • The most common cause of serious injury in custody is believed to be a suspect kicking themselves down the nick stairs. 
  • Former chairman of the Police Federation once asked if he cared to express regret for the hundreds of deaths that occurred in police custody: "Any accident is tragic. A lot of people die in car accidents. Both are tragic."
Police culture -  Robert Chesshyre writes - and I'd forgotten he was alive - that,
"The first thing to understand about the police is that they are a tribe. And, as with all tribes, their loyalties are foremost to each other. Police cover-ups are invariably motivated by the desire of officers at all levels to protect their own.
Strengthening the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) must be good. However, police watchdogs have, hitherto, been held in lower tribal esteem than even pen-pushing senior officers, so I won’t hold my breath for a change in the culture.
The answer has to be high-profile and appropriately severe consequences for officers who transgress – preferably administered by the courts. When the wages of police malpractice outweigh the warm solidarity of the canteen, police officers might finally recognise that their loyalty is owed first and foremost to the wider community and not merely to the tribe."

Chris Sims

Meaning they couldn't get away with the old bungled misconduction.

About time, too - we're all fed up with these fuzz-culture cronyism 'loyalties' (see Bob Chesshyre above).  

Little Davey Shaw of West Mercia [so that's what it covers]  has '“rescinded” the decision that the Police Federation representatives had no case to answer. Rescinded, you have to hand it to the Rozzer Writerium - they do come up with the most oily get-outs.

Quoth Davide - “I have identified a 'flaw' ". Guffaw! Fracking right he spotted a 'flaw' - no one being taken in by the lies. 

By the apologies of Apollo! The slippery euphemisms these Plod Pensters come up with ~ rescinded, lack of recommendations, new appraisal, new conclusions and 'determinations', 'professional standards for Warwickshire and West Mercia police'.

Suspected '3D gun parts' found by Greater Manchester police
Piece or printer part? - Are our gendarmes determined to show themselves complete buffoons?  Note, too, the now familiar red-faced refusal to apologise:  "No apologies whatever for the raid: As to what these items actually are, I accept that this man has given a viewpoint. But what I am interested in is what our forensic experts come back with." That's the new filthspeke, is it? Giving a viewpoint. 

"Categorically clear" - then proceeding to spout impenetrable porcine nonsense: "We need to be absolutely clear that, at this stage, we cannot categorically say we have recovered the component parts for a 3D gun. What we have seized are items that need further forensic testing by national ballistics experts to establish whether they can be used in the construction of a genuine, viable firearm." Irredeemable rozzer roobish.

100 per cent bollocks

The remorseless tread of police humiliation thuds on. 

“A really significant discovery” ... part of a much-heralded crackdown on organised crime. I'll tell you what's much-heralded ~ the final dragging out into the open of this whole compost heap of idiotic rotton Filtheria.  Every article like this keeps the flame alive, exposes further the public's zeal in upturning this whole barrel of rotton pork bellies - and allows us a good old laugh at the same time.     

Oh! OK - "Presented with the 'trigger' and 'magazine', he explained that one was a spool and the other another part of the printer, to which the officer replied: “Oh! OK.”

Off their heads. 100 per cent bollocks! 

Diary of a Dickhead - Honestly, go out and get yourself a copy and compare for yourself. This whole thing could translate seamlessly into a 21st-century unfunny account of modern police morals and modus operandi

Filth in hot water
A hapless innocent has his business brought close to ruin by sheer flat-footed incompetence, and the best some senior Pig can come up with is, “What this has also done is open up a wider debate about the emerging threat these next generation of weapons might pose." What this has further done, you twerp, is open up wider debate about the sheer loose-cannon incompetence of our crooked constabulary.

“The worrying thing is for me is that these printers can be used to make certain components of guns, while others can be legitimately ordered over the internet without arousing suspicion. When put together, this could allow a person to construct a firearm in their own home.” So fucking what? Plenty of things can be used to make plenty of other things - that doesn't entitle our lumbering law to go barging around cocking things up, making people's lives misery and dragging further into the slime the already laughing-stock reputation of the police force. 

Crisis of ethics, tip of the iceberg:  

  • Decline in public trust
  •  Long list of police investigations conducted as clumsy cover-ups
  •  Senior officers responding with implausible denials
  •  Mindset of officer class not to be off limits.

Permanent Snooping: In his 'Spectator Notes' for 19 October, Charles Moore 'instinctively recoils from the idea that inspectors should be allowed secretly to film scenes in care homes'. He goes on to observe:

Here, indeed, is that very Transcript and Audio of the Andrew Mitchell police meeting. Grim filth it makes, too.

The Plebgate Three

Sorry is the hardest word - I'm glad the Plebgate three are stubbornly refusing to apologise because it daily opens more eyes to the true nature of Plod. 

"We certainly didn't lie intentionally" - they don't even get the words right. Just like poodle Blair bleating about having meant well, here the Filth attempt to slime their way out with splitting hairs over 'intentional' fibs.   

Betrayal and stitch - "On the BBC Radio 4 programme Broadcasting House she recalled the moment the family learnt of an email from PC Keith Wallis allegedly purporting to be a member of the public who had witnessed the altercation on September 19 last year. In his email Mr Wallis, a member of Scotland Yard’s diplomatic protection unit, claimed he was sightseeing when he heard the Cabinet minister use the words ‘f****** plebs’ at officers."

Standards of conduct had fallen “below that required” of officers ~ a month of relentless attacks ~ serious questions about the veracity of some of the police accounts and logs leaked to the press. 

Sir Hugh Orde
A pleasure and satisfaction to pile on the ordure, praying for the tipping point. You never know which one will finally stir the public to arms, place burning brands in their hands and stir some brooding avenger to rise up and put the rotten den to the sword.    

"Hard to fathom how someone who holds the police in such contempt could be allowed to hold public office…” thus spake the Chairman of the Police Foundation. 

It's also hard to fathom how such porcine slime and collective senior Filth has been allowed to hold their offices. I pray as they are slammed into the stocks and pelted with rotting reputations and their own dung of public contempt, that the mob chants their own words back to them in a rising chorus  that will rattle the silver 'limbs' hanging over Prince George's crib.       

Proud reputation faded ... perception that the modern British cop not to be trusted ... 

Long list of incidents where police have deliberately concealed illegalities ... that the Home Secretary and Prime Minister are able to merely urge officers to take action and apologise to a senior minister for a blatant wrong shows limits of their power.

Efforts to frame Mitchell have been exposed, the police are totally isolated."

Don't police and crime commissioners (PCCs) have responsibility for the ethics of their forces?

Pig Petard - But here is the joke of jokes that right from the start I've been belching and farting to anyone down-wind who'll listen. For those of nuance-savvy and a certain 'sensibility', the word pleb is tantamount to a shibboleth: it's because they are such fucking plebs that the Filth chose that word and, in doing so, fucked their case from the start.  

Mitchell admits to and has apologised for the strong language he did use; what he won't and can't do is take blame for language so beneath him that it would place him in the same pig-sty as his accusers. Actually, I'm told that pigs that are very clean so I'm insulting  genus Sus by even mentioning them in the same breath. 

Watch the unconvinced expressions with which people such as you and I even mouth 'plebgate' - right on. It clangs of such a wrong note that we smelled a rat from the start. Of course, such subtlety of language is right over the heads of the police, they'd not spot it and hence they shoot themselves in the dictionary and end up hoist by the balls as we see them today. 

My current best company, excellent Simon Baddeley of the must-see blog commented on my fastening on plebgate in my usual limp-wristed fashion and wishy-washy vocab: I don't actually give a toss about the Filth's bred-in-the-bone second DNA-ture knee-jerk lying - we take that for granted - it's the muck-common tools with which they set about their latest mallarkey.  

I love it - the vigour and vehemence with which these uniformed crooks have been hounded to justice owes as much to their ignorant breach of aesthetics as the fact that they are scumbags. 

Much much more to add to the dung heap ... watch this space.

Humiliating apology in the offing - good progress.  This is Hinton, the slimiest looking of them all. Scaredy cat MPs are pretending that if he refuses to apologise for 'allegedly' misleading them,  they – in theory – have the power to jail him for the rest of this Parliament, not due to end until May 2015. 

Except of course that our spineless parliamentarians will cower and cave and the Filth wil continue to do exactly what they want.

Open the procedure - that'll be the day but a step in the right direction
Considered Quitting - once upon a time, when there was a smidgeon of decency in the police, it wouldnt have been a question of 'considering' - honourable behaviour would have come first. Today, even the language is smarmy and evasive. 

PLEB - As I've said from the start -and why Mitchell is rightly fighting this - that the Filth chose this word inthe first place up with which to stitch Andie shows what fronking plebs they are. No one of any breeding bothers to use this; it's ignorant plodders like the Filth who imagine Toffs bandying it around (another word you'll hear on them piggy lips). If anything, the Tosser 3 deserve to be thumped on for lazy guess-work alone and incompetent framing.  

Best thing that happened - we're heading there ... all the hooding and winking falling from the public's eyes ... hooting and jeering in the streets ... essential change of clothing before limping home after another day's 'policing' ... draining of all moral stature and authority ... 

Danger of becoming an irrelevance - too late. The public has the message loud and smeared. 

Culture of “clumsy cover­-ups” 

"It was the Met - the rest of the force shouldn’t be judged on it,” ~  writer Rankin. I'm glad Ian came out with this and a sage pal made the same point, but I'm not going to split hairs where the Bill is concerned. Stew them with the same brush. But yeah, it were the Met - bigger porcine pricks than the rest of 'em put together.  

Smear - speaking of MetFilth, no surprises in Evans and Lewis' exposé of our secret police and efforts to smear la famille Lawrence. 


Mark Kennedy - the undercover fuzz you've all read about.

PlebProbe - eight re-bailed.  The net tightening.

This what I'm talking about ... 

  • It should be second nature to think and jest like this. 
  • Every feeble joke should be tested for filth potential 
  • When in doubt, pencil in a pig snout 

"Is this the Pleb gate?", indeed, har har har.

This is the way, don't you see? To 'embed' jokes and cartoons so they become part and parcel of our default perception of Plod Central. Self-fulfilling prophecy to follow.  

Filth - the movie. Just popping it in here to be thorough.

Stinging Report - I love the way they keep ramming it in about Mitchell denying the 'pleb' remark. Of course he does! Only those pleb plods would get it so wrong and sink to that level of goof. It'd be like some toff taking a script from Dixon of Dock Green and passing it off as verbatim filth from some Met slime trio: they'd allow most accusations to go through but not the duff dialogue.

Whole truth and nothing but - I like the way the noose is knitting on this. David Davis looks like Melvyn Bragg, a propos de rien. We're heading in a very good direction - very business-like and doom-laden for the FilThree.

"Don't you know who we are?" Esther Rantzen also victim of FilthFrame. 

One thing is becoming clear: the police have very bad taste in the unconvincing words they put in framees' mouths. I look forward to more people coming forward with the ludicrous lines assigned to them by PC Plod. I bet there was a competition for the silliest stuff they could get away with. 
Proud *once*, to be sure, before the Force's own
own inbred dishonesty led to a Lie Too Far.

With their level of education and general brightness, the fuzz have no idea how people up the food chain operate, hence their guess at 'pleb' as something someone like Mitchell would come out with. A very Private Eye-type competition ~ to run mocking spoofs of Porc-parle.  

"If this can happen to a Cabinet minister, what hope is there for anyone else?" - Keith Vaz. Well, we've known the answer to that for years, but it's nice of KV to voice that old chestnut again if only to add to the tumbril rumble.

Filth Film Fib Refuted - "This man wasn't where he said he was, there wasn't the crowd he said was there, and his description reads like an extract from a police log itself. You have to say: where did this come from?" Noose narrowing

Authorised Undercover Sex - all part of the mix. The trick will be to have these findings dovetail in a 'perfect bust' to conclusively bring the pigsty down. 

Firmly of the Opinion - When Plebgate is finally done with, I hope some bright publisher brings out a handbook of the oiliest PlebSpeke and euphemising.  

Sorry  ~ Still the hardest words.
  • “Inadvertently” misleading MPs.
  • But refusing to say sorry to former Tory Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell over allegations that they forced him to resign.
  • Made an “honest” mistake in previously denying that he called Home Secretary Theresa May “this woman”.
  • Sorry for failing to declare a disciplinary record to MPs on the Home Affairs Committee ... “misunderstood” the question.
  • Expressed 'remorse' after being recalled before the committee. [No doubt because 'remorse' is a posh-ish word, foreign to the Filth so they don't feel like they're wimping down and saying 'sorry', like.]
I like the way this is going - sheer stubborn, almost fanatical determination on principle not to apologise has gripped them. Like Ibsen's wild duck, they will go down and refuse to save themselves - or the reputation of the Force. Excellent. 

I pray pray pray they stick to their guns and ignore common sense and make the fullest Filth-typical spectacle of themselves.

Of course it's not typical but the Plod3 are making it typical in our the Public's eyes and making others make decisions that will bring the Temple down. It's not thickness or stubbornness, it's something much more useful to the Plebgate cause, a crazed kamikaze blindness to anything but standing firm come what may. Speaking of May, "that woman" will have something brewing in cauldron. 

Oh joy! These three martyrs may have lit a candle leggy enough to see the whole plodding porcine pack well and truly in the mire.  

WomanGate ~ "Detective Sergeant Stuart Hinton apologised for any “distress” that had been caused ... and for referring to Home Secretary Theresa May as “this woman” ... told the committee two weeks ago that he did not recall using the phrase and blamed it on a typing error [my itals] in the transcript of the recording."

Sergeant Chris Jones  declined to apologise to Mr Mitchell and said: “I can’t apologise for something I haven’t done. But I do recognise the disproportionate distress that has been caused.”

He was also asked to clarify answers he had given to questions concerning 13 complaints of misconduct made against him during his 28-year career with the police and said he apologised if he had misunderstood what had been put to him previously. 

Love it love it love it. These post-Plod lying vermin are digging themselves further and further in to their dung heap. The public are seeing them for what they are.

Obfuscation - thy name is Filth, and it's also Mayor ~ that fat turd Mayor Rob Ford has clearly decided to twin his alcoholic ass to Plebgate. Very fitting.  

Face of the Filth - drama for real! The committee ... sitting on 'Leadership and standards in the police service', and if you can say that without chundering you're in the wrong profession and should report asap to the nearest police recruiting centre. 

OMFG, just look on that slimey piece of work Stuart Hinton as honey-accented Keith Vaz gets to work. Can't you just hear them when young Stu' signed up - nods of relief all round that a piece of work like that had decided to bring his morals de merde and modus operandi to the services of law and order rather than have them escape to the other side. 

Commissioner Fail ~ West Midlands failed to hold police forces to account for their role in the “plebgate” scandal. 

All good grist to the mill in what I like to think of as rolling thunder plod-opinion-'adjusting'.  Joe Public being thick as two planks, it's only by relentless repetition - my mother's dementia repeatia technique - that the facts will sink in and heads roll, tumbrils trample, and so forth. 

Maelstrom of Manure -  Exactly on course and proliferating. This is how the filth will hit the fan, by careering around like a headless porker, providing wordsmiths with new angles and angering the dullard populace.

" ... descended into a Pinteresque play, moving even further away from the original incident and instead ended up as a linguistic MasterChef, with dissection on the menu.

"Was the home secretary Theresa May disparagingly referred to as ‘that woman’ or ‘this woman’? Why did the police officer pretend he hadn’t said what he had said but then remembered that he had said it? Was anyone able to actually say sorry – or just stick to the line: “I can’t apologise for something I haven’t done”. Sorry seemed to be the hardest word."

Almost conan-doylesqueThe blundering plods exposed by the quick wittedness of the (almost) aristocratic amateur. The emotional toll of the corrupt peelers' betrayal, hitherto manfully concealed from the world, only revealed by the plaintive intervention of his loving daughter.

Plenty officers doing a fantastic job - I don't really think the cops are as bad as I curse and revile - it's just that it makes such crap blogging to simper approval and I have had some dealings that fuel my own Filthgate ... but the main thing is that les flics make it easier to distrust and despise them and they keep coming up with such convincing evidence for giving them the widest of berths. 

But I agree with Julia that, "there are plenty of officers up and down the country who do a fantastic job at keeping Britain safe and these officers need to be congratulated. It’s such a shame that trust in such people is being marred by a couple of major debates caused by very few officers."

Wide of the Mark - The humiliated and discredited other Blair is nailed "wide of the mark ... defending the pleb plodding porkie porkers ... [who] behaved in the most bullying fashion - with their deliberate lies and misrepresentations about their meeting in October 2012 with the former Government chief whip, Andrew Mitchell MP." The noose tightens, the shame shimmers before us like some mirage of justice.

"Hugely disappointed" - not to have had the support of senior pols like 'that woman', that is. What a laff. Can't you just see the Toffs - Auntie Theresa included - in the snug bar of the 'Derailleuer & Dynamo Arms' - "Support that lying shower of filth and falsehoods? Not bloody likely, I value my career and I'm not being dragged thru the ordure for that bare-faced bunch."

Filth Fibs Tally - The cost of Plodgate lying and obfuscating "rose more than £10,000 in just over a month and now stands at nearly a quarter of a million pounds.

"The Metropolitan Police has so far spent £248,000.45 trying to establish what happened when Tory former chief whip Andrew Mitchell was accused of a foul-mouthed rant at officers outside Downing Street." 

They won't 'establish' a damn'd thing because the ingrained institutional lying in the very DNA of our policiers puts them beyond reach of basic decent probing. But it gives the story legs and stench and 'seepage' with the public's perception.  

Reflecting badly on "police" -  yakka dacha', blah filthing blah ... same old mantra ... it might start sinking in if Porky Clogs sticks to message. 

"Discredited, narrow and reactive" - couldn't put it better. Oink, bleat, fib, fuzz, filth. The case building.

Charges to be faced - charges to be faced.  What do you call five officers due to answer bail, one likely to be told he faces criminal charges, other officers possibly facing internal disciplinary proceedings? 

Who cares? We're on our way.

Daily Mail stamp of approval - when the Mail adds you to its reportage Wall of Shame, you know you've arrived and balanced coverage is out the window. 

I'm agog to learn who's being chargèd and suspect I've guessed right - the one out of Central Casting's A-List Fuzz villains, I'll be bound.   

Police 'charter' - that comic conception ... and in this case the ludicrous suggestion that it ever be broken. What's the term again, oxymoron? Like 'military intelligence'. (From Greek ὀξύμωρον, "sharp dull")

The Statement - still racked with mealy-mouthed obfuscation but what's new over in the Filth Sty? The tumbrils have a new coat of paint; the tar and feathers stand ready. Siga siga,  patience. Dust will be bitten.

"PC Keith Wallis, a member of the Metropolitan Police Diplomatic Protection Group, has been charged with misconduct in a public office over the incident at Downing Street last year.The officer is accused of sending an email to the deputy chief whip, John Randall, who was his MP, falsely claiming that he had witnessed the incident and then arranging for his nephew to support his false claims.Separately, the Independent Police Complaints Commission has announced that PC Wallis and four other police officers, all from the Metropolitan Police Diplomatic Protection Group, will now face gross misconduct disciplinary proceedings. All five of them could lose their jobs."
Misconducting Wallis - photo and all details to follow en blogue. 

Typical fronking Filth-fibbing faffing CPS 'suggestion' that footage 'did not provide a comprehensive overview of the incident.' 

Channel 4/ITN response : Every word the 'police' mouth - including 'the' and 'and' - turns to mendacious porcine slime. 
Quoth the broadcasters, "The CCTV footage was obtained by Andrew Mitchell from Downing Street and provided to Dispatches and Channel 4 News. The footage as broadcast for the first time on 18 December 2012 was not edited by the production team to change or alter the sequence of events. 
"Furthermore the three camera angles that we were provided with were image-matched frame by frame to confirm their veracity. We stand fully behind this investigation."
Dutiful BBC repeating what they're told. Same old same old. One day ... it'll all come out and the right people will get mediaeval on certain plodding ass.

LIVE CONFAB - I am loving this, of course. The triumphant calling of the smarmy arrogant Filth's bluff - a trick completely foreign to and unheard of by our 'police' whose calling card is cowardice and underhand stabbing. Har bloody har all round. 

What a terrifying breath of honesty and fresh air this must be to those used to crawling on their bellies and routinely used to distorting and fabricating. 

“Toxic”, “lies”, and “lying phrases”.  Gorgeous! Oh, happy day! Long, tortuous and drawn out may Mitchell's unstitching of these creatures be. What merry sport! Bring on the rack and thumb-screws, the headlines and the photos, the pointed fingers and humiliation ... le J'Accuse!  Come the making of the movie, I demand they slip in an element of a calculated sting ~ how the auditorium will raise with one accord and cheer, popcorn and soda raining down on the screen until the time they rain down on the Black Marias ferrying these ... 'police' ... to the stocks. Gahd, if I wasnt on the wagon I'd pour a large stiff drink and go on pouring until booze and 'baccy was exhausted.  

What chance a kid in Brixton?  In fact, with our 'police', it's gone way beyond a mere hoodie in Brixton. We're talking a moral sewer of twirling turds of filth and fabrication and knee-jerk cronyism and almost masonic collusion to run the show according to Metro Rules.

Marvelous now that they're facing the music and the whole stinkeroo is coming out. I think we've got a perfect storm going of Press, Public, Own Goals, and that Plod Plank Obtuseness that is de rigueur to operate as a Peeler.

Only one officer to be charged ~ Only to be expected but this is to the good. All the better for the public to see this collusive lot in action.

Mitchell: “I was vilified relentlessly over 33 days, with over 800 hate emails received in that first week. I was spat at in the street.

“I lost my job after a career spanning more than 25 years in Parliament, serving my constituents, my party and my country ... If the police can do this in such a casual way in one of the safest areas in Britain and get away with it then they can do it to anyone, anywhere and at any time.

What chance would a kid in Brixton have?”

Showdown in Court - Wonderful theatre! Pray God every big swinging media dick puts their hawkishest newshounds on the case to nail them even as the lies spew forth. I think we have them now, lads; I think we'll have some sport and the excrement spew out.

Audible Justice - Cluck flap wince mince ... that all too audible hissing and wheezing is of chickens returning to roost. The days of inaudible altercation are over: "Those officers who may be responsible for turning a largely inaudible altercation lasting less than a minute into a national scandal plainly have a case to answer for gross misconduct."

All five of the officers facing disciplinary proceedings could lose their jobs. Could, note - still a way to go, lads, but an encouraging start.

Key Question ignored - Who 'invented' the crucial phrases he was accused of uttering, including the words "plebs" and "know your place".  I still laugh at how the whole phrase blew up in the Filth's face - spattered with their own petard - only a frigging pleb would think to use 'pleb'. So naff, so completely out of touch, but then look at their faces in the photos ~ fucking ignorami, the very types they thought they were stitching up. This will make such a good movie, perfect opportunity to wheel out all the type-cast bent policier clichés, except they won't be.  

Spokes Lies and Videotape - Good for Mitchell pressing on. Bloody hell it must be hard seeing the Fuzz getting away with it yet again, and again and again. Pray God this time he'll speak for England and the 'police' finally eat the mire they've been dishing us all these years. Which is the saint to whom one lights candles for justice? To whom our prayers for filth avenged?

Under oath - What's new? Systemic dishonesty is their trademark, in the constabulary DNA. Dear dear Mitchell, demanding "a Downing Street protection officer face him in court to repeat his “toxic” lies under oath ... condemning the Metropolitan Police and the Crown Prosecution Service for a failure thoroughly to investigate the officer." Dear trusting Andy, what the devil difference would repeating the lies under oath make? Lord have mercy, him an MP and so naive. Listen, these people use the 'oath' to stitch up others, it's not there for them, ffs. Can you imagine in what deeper crap they'd be if they had to worry about oathing and the Good Book and all? Grounds for flung out of the 'force' and back on the dole like normal folk. 

Eight words per second - And that Rowland with his 40 words spoken, excluding the last response from Mitchell ... “Most people speak at two to three words per second. No one speaks at eight words per second.” Especially not our bovine grunting police. They're so fracking thick, they can't even get a simple stitch job right. 

Mitchell expects PC Rowland to come to court and “swear to his account” under oath. The only bit of that cabaret worth watching will be how glibly Rowland will trot out his fuzz training and lie on the Bible. Honestly people are being a bit slow here - it's the fronking pig-filth we're dealing with here. Hulloo??   

And that Gilbeys and Sullivanian puppet, Bernie Hogan-Howe, insisting the 'investigation' had been a “ruthless search for the truth”. Quoth BHH, he believes that 'public trust and confidence in the integrity of the police is fundamental to us providing an effective service for the public.' A joke. What trust? You're in another galaxy, sir - get back to Dixon of Dock Green and Fabian. The 'public' know exactly the 'service' you're providing. Oh boy, the pieces are all falling into place. Mitchell's playing it so well to date, and the fuzz are tripping over themselves at every lie, I wouldnt be surprised if a few more knaves weren't dealt from the bottom of someone's deck. Pure theatre.  
Most important” civil litigation judgment of the year“ - What do you know? Isnt that typical of this whole Filth fibby tale of constabularisory conniving that it also spreads beyond Plodgate to a possible ruling that could mean 'more professional negligence cases against law firms who fail to submit an accurate costs budget in time.' 

I had to sit back and guffaw with unbalanced glee. Truly, the theft that goes on thieving: 

Welcome to the world of costs protection post-Leveson and the royal charter on newspaper regulation.
 Lord Justice Leveson,
Chairman of the Inquiry.
Let's have two pics of dear Brian - one of him in drag and another brandishing the dread report.

Poor chap, completely out of his depth and comfort zone, hence the pigs breakfast and general mockery and alarm all round. Plebgate meets LevGate; so fitting. Or do i mean so "stitching"?

PC Rowland
Plebgate pig sues over porkies -  Here we go, the fat slob at the centre of this whole brouhaha fancies taking his lies to the next level. I rather fear that he will get away with it, simply because the slime is everywhere.

But see? What did I say about the Filth giving themselves away - and in one fell stroke confirming their very plebeian porcinity - as Mitchell points out, 'No-one speaks like that these days. It's like a Hooray Henry, a lout from a 1920s B-movie being sort of characterised.'

Right on! It's like me calling the Filth the filth, or fuzz or rozzers - no one uses that Dixon/Fabian lingo no more - even the Sweeney and Z Cars were pushing it - but ignorant quasi toffs like me like to think that's the received jargon and - entre nous - 'Filth' fits so well it has a timeless quality.   

What I do want to see is Fat Tobe swear on oath. My cup will run over. Look at that face, born for policedom, prolly can't even spell 'oaf', I mean 'oath'. To see those jowel-jointed features bubble and judder as he grunts his way thru - 's far as Rowly Poly's concerned, might as well be Three Blind Sheep or Little Black Sambo as far as any reliance on truth is concerned. They will smoke him; the people who know and care about such things will absolutely cane his whale-lard derrière for mounting the stand to pollute the court with his lies. I can't wait, and the papers will have a field day plastering their pages with Rowland's Caliban mug. 

What serial humiliation all round for our debased and degraded policerie.