28 July 2009

Carla régime knackers Nico

Any excuse to shove in a pic of Ms Bruni.

I love the thought of her shoving hubby on a sexual triathlete's training program so's to ensure she gets the fully monty as per the sales brochure.


"Trying to keep up with 41-year-old Ms Bruni had been a disaster waiting to happen."
[He *does* look un peu shagged out in the pic up there.]

Jim Potts

Hold that thought.

I'm determined to sit down and hammer out my vague thoughts on James's excellent blues albums - if only to shove in his ace links to other cool sites.

(Eee! I've just spotted that the book is still to receive a single review on Amazon. That's a bit rum.)

27 July 2009

Avrio as ever is!

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Why do they all end up looking like Malcolm McDowell?
  • 90 minutes late starting à cause d'un jam de traffique - ho ho, likely story. [Very likely, actually - how was the music? - Ed]
  • Opening act: lovely lady played some sort exotic violin/gizmo. She was the real McCoy.
  • 24 July 2009

    20 July 2009

    Doubles or quits?

  • Sobering thought: that great art being fuelled by large amounts of booze and drugs is on the rocks.
  • I wrestle endlessly with just such a demon.
  • Articles such as this leap off the page, often timely dashing the glass from my lips.
  • Mercy Dash

    Whenever I read of a 'mercy dash', I recall that winner back in the late 1960s of a sure-fire headline seller for a newspaper:

    "Black bishop in mercy dash to Palace"

    I suspect the blackness of the bishop has lost some of its shock power these days but it's still a neat concept.

  • Skullion Skolion: The un-nodding Sinbad keeps me honest:
    "No no - it's

    Bishop in sex-change mercy dash to Palace."

  • Unlocking car with cell phone

    Well, it worked for *me* on my Nissan Micra and my brother's high-powered Merc.

    We tested it and it worked first time.

    Next on the bench: the anti-theft wheeze of punching in your PIN *backwards*.

  • It's meant to give you your money (thus staying the thief from whacking your head in and allowing him to think he knows your number), but lock the account thereafter and signal the fuzz the whereabouts of this use of the card.
  • Sinbad's kool kommentical konspiracies kwote (and delivered at such a better hour than 2:55am.)
  • 18 July 2009

    Carla Bruni, Dave Stewart

    Mandela Day duets

  • Bruni first public performance since becoming First Lady ... blah blah blah
  • Part of worldwide birthday tribute to Nelson ... bli bla bli
  • Plans to sing her composition Quelqu’un m’a dit and Blowin’ in the Wind yakker yakker
  • Only running this to get pic of Carla in, yadda yadda
  • Other artists incl Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys, Aretha Franklin, Queen Latifah ...
  • [That's enough - Ed]
  • 14 July 2009

    Ms Ticherou's Burden

    ~ Kavos Emptor ~

    Chris Bryant, Foreign Office Minister with responsibility for consular affairs, will visit Athens and Corfu on 14 and 15 July to look at the preparations British consular staff have made to help Brits who find themselves in trouble ...

    Quoth CB: "Every year millions of British holiday makers come to Greece and have a great holiday, but every year some have bad experiences which could have been prevented."

    ... thousands of posters, leaflets, beer mats, and information cards are being distributed across Greece ... key message: enjoy your holiday, but be aware and take care.

  • 'Another Side to Paradise' travel safety messages
  • 'Don’t be a Dick!' and 'Don’t Miss Out!' activity in Club 18-30 and 2wenty's resorts across the Mediterranean.
  • I take action-men pals who can look after themselves on Xtreme Safaris to Kavos to observe the wildlife. Its main claim to fame still seems to be the blow job competitions organised a few years back by 18-30 reps, filmed and photographed in lubricious detail and ending up in one of those greasy tabloids.

    Psst - was only joking about Madame Ticherou's sisyphean task: everyone glows with approval at the grand job she's doing.

  • Hebe's Complex up to their usual trick(s) - how many times have I heard this one over the past 3 years?
  • Greek holiday hell - super headline, well subbed that man.
  • Don't be a dick

    FYI Update: while on the Subject of Sarah, she has efficiently updated her email to Sarah.Ticherou@fco.gov.uk

  • Katerina and Charlie's are now katerina.koriem@fco.gov.uk and charlie.picoula@fco.gov.uk respectively
  • The general address remains as corfu@british-consulate.gr

    I mention this because I know from bait mail that trickles thru my portal that my discerning readership includes not a few residents of Prosperonia.

  • 12 July 2009

    Hong Kong Childhood

    No, you won't spot me in those fotos.

    I was a pretty little lad back then.

    Anti-Racism Camping

    No, really. Please don't hand me these things on a plate.

    I have with me my gorgeous invigorating calming placating liberating pater-bating Spitfire divine, and I am in the mood to be naughty.

    James Delingpole in the latest Spectator kicks off with a para close to my heart:

    "A friend who teaches at an old-fashioned Sussex boarding school has a zero-tolerance approach to racism. The moment he hears one of the foreign boys claiming to be a victim of it, that’s them chucked out of the class for the rest of the lesson.

    ‘Well I’m sorry,’ says my friend Duncan, quite unapologetically. ‘But they’re bright kids and they’re enjoying the best education money can buy in a multi-ethnic school where racism just isn’t an issue.

    I think it’s an absolute bloody outrage that they should try that line…’" [my bold type]

    Hear effing hear.

    La Spitfeuer doesn't like me talkin' like Fi'ty Cent or that'd've varied on the ace Team America anthem,

    Delingpole - fuck yeahh!.

    (It's good to have kids who keep the lingo under control.)

    And now I pick up a copy of Coffeetime® and there on page 13 is news of the 16th Antye-Racism Camping hootenanny, Karousades, 31rst [sic] - 9th August.

  • Discussions
  • Videos
  • Parties
  • "Events" (my sarcastic quotes)
  • Better you read abaht it yerselves.
  • Borat does Corfu

    Hilarious stuff.

    Apparently, Corfu is,

    " ... predominantly of the most spectacular rubbernecker destinations in all of Greece.

    The ait [sic] opened its doors to cosmopolitan visitors and tourists method primal in 1970s. It has been more than three decades without delay that the islands tourism infrastructure has pinched people from a beneficent and far-reaching.

    The beguiling countryside, elaborate olive plantations, thousands of reject produces like fruits and herbs, slander impetuous flowers, wonderful hamlets on the mountain slopes, up to the minute coastal villages, excellent beaches and some compelling and famed museums and churches enhances the islands notorious as the dab hand bequeath of absence ambition in all of Greece.

    ... Boutique hotels capability be valuable but they are advantage the mephitic elaborate.

    ... You may also arise across a Corfu B & B that is situated on a hillside and provides unmatched feeling of the ginormous Ionian Sea as spurt. In proves of those who esteem a gainful Corfu B & B nigh the bank, as a replacement for them there are plentifulness of choices.

    Another respected discredit someone’s dilapidated a rУle advantage mentioning is the transportation powder-room provided nigh a Corfu B & B. All such far-out services and features at a Corfu B & B can confidently bring round the hearts of its guests bringing them to this wonderful ait again and again."

    Wonderful stuff.

    I would never think of clicking to 'cancel riposte'.

    A delightful "promenade over alliance in house of tourism contumely".

    10 July 2009

    Your Next Great Read

    Courtesy of Mr Gwyn Headley whose fotolibra you of course know and use, or you're no friend of this blog and there's much more suitable reading for the likes of you across the road (I love channeling Norman).

    Greek Anti-Smoking Laws

    I'm still hoping that a mass of Greek apathy will see this off or that it'll slither away - like their handling of scandling.

    I'm already much encouraged that the authorities themselves don't seem to know the full facts and that crucial elements still have to be decided upon, let alone put in place.

    The law in a nutshell

  • Smoking is prohibited in all indoor public places as of July 1
  • Owners of businesses 70m2 or smaller may apply for a permit to allow smoking
  • Smoking zones, which must be fully enclosed and independently ventilated, may be installed on premises measuring 70 to 300m2. These zones may not take up more than 30 percent of the space and a relevant permit is necessary
  • In live music venues larger than 300m2, 40 percent of the space may be given over to smokers, but a 2m-high glass wall and an “air curtain” must separate it from the non-smoking area
  • Smoking is banned in all workplaces. However, enterprises with more than 50 employees must provide a ventilated smoking room. A permit is necessary
  • Fines for individuals breaking the regulations range from 50 to 500 euros; for businesses, it’s 1,000 to 20,000 euros.
  • Mayan 'apocalypse' crop circle

  • Giant pattern thought to represent traditional Mayan head-dress. Appeared next to tallest prehistoric man-made mound in Europe.
  • Members of crop circle community believe the mystic symbol is a signal of the end of the 5,126-year Mayan 'Long Count' calendar on December 21, 2012.
  • Crop circle theorists believe patterns created by UFOs during nocturnal visits, or caused by natural phenomena such as unusual forms of lightning striking the earth.
  • Pukka

    With my unerring magnetism for the foot/mouth interface gaffe supreme, I'm in no doubt that Daphne or Piers or even Sinbad are bosom buddies with this cove.

    Loadsa citified chatter about stocks and props and parties and hearties, all delivered at volume 11 lest we be not impressed.

    Cell phones rampant, both to the boatman and the chap's broker and trainer.

    Anna and I exchanging winks and giggles.

    Disputes over the Greekness of the mezes and the hima-ness of the krasi.

    I asked the staff who was this kamala but dismissive shrugs.

    The yoof sons ogled Miss Anna, of course, which rather took the wind out of stern pater's sails.

    During the nosh he got a bit Brideshead with the hired hands and I gently offered an alternative attitude.

    Mistake, of course, but the wine had got to me.

    He even offered advice on The Spitfire's smoking.

    07 July 2009

    Tightrope Record

    Ugh. I am Mr Vertigo so I get dizzy just reading/hearing/viewing this.

    06 July 2009

    Drunk carpenter saws off penis

    Ouch! Yaroo! and all that ....

    All the same, I'm sure there's less than meets the eye here:

    Think about it:

  • The bloke's a carpenter who uses sharp and sometimes dangerous tools. As do many professions.
  • He's in his home workshop cutting wood for a cabinet.
  • He fancies a drink. He drinks. He over-drinks.
  • He drinks so much he actually saws his penis off??
  • So what sort of carpenters do they turn out up there in Wantage, Oxon? According to the DIY penis-lopper's Mum:
    "This was an unfortunate accident but these things happen all the time to people in his profession."
  • Carpenters slicing off their johnsons all the time? [my itals].

    Well I never.


    Messrs Duckworth and Lewis hit it for a six.

    05 July 2009

    Corfu Blues

    Cool new blog by Jim Potts whose two blues albums I *keep* meaning to review online here.

    03 July 2009

    'You'll meet a tall dark stranger online who'll turn out to be a short fat ugly weirdo'

    01 July 2009

    "How much to send this letter bomb?"

    Retired boxer thumps thief

    ~ Thumps him good ~

  • Frank Corti [far right] doesn't look the sort to mess around with.
  • From what's left of young Greg McCalium, he looks exactly the sort of vermin to wave a blade around.
  • Just two punches, eh? Kewl - yon Gregoire also looks exactly the mess I too would like to make of any thieving intruder.
  • This is the sort of thing that should appear in the excellent Oldie mag.