VENETIAN VALETE

~ Venetian Well closing Sept 10 ~

I had ever such a nice comment posted this morning. I had to scroll back to see what I'd done or said wrong.

It was my post on clever talented Caroline Philp's Kyma Therapeutic arty periptero opposite the equally gaze-glazing Bam 'n' Boozle grub, glug and snub rendezvous.

Please note that Mr Nice-Comment, "Devid Pul", [as bogus a name as I've come across] let slip not just his unconvincing moniker but his work URL.

Corfu Luxury Villas, eh? Sounds terribly upmarché. Rush out and buy one while stocks last ... wait! they can't spell 'guarantees'.

At ease chaps, money back in purse. Corfucius he say,

Beware types who give selves flash names, flog posh pagodas but can't be fagged to use dictionary spell-check on one of the few words villa-hungry punters would actually worry about.

But back to Cruella de Philp (who can spell everything, which is handy because her chefs d'oeuvre include an awful lot of writing)

Like, one typo, or 'brusho' in this case, and it's whoops and woe betide the swain who was chatting her up at the time. Looks up at ceiling; whistles innocently

Sad sad news ~ the Venetian Well (whose catch-water all but flows in CP's veins) ... closing. J'st like that.

Tragic, emotional ... when you think of how long it's been dining and delighting us - since the early '90s?

THE FACTS - I had a full tribute planned, fanfares and history, photos and revelations ... all googled and filched from other sites, of course, so doxa to Theo that I happened to be chatting to la Carolina and realised in time that I had every single fact wrong.

HALF-HEARD RUMOURS:

That the Well isn't actually a well but a rain catchwater

That there exists a guestbook of all the distinguished diners who've noshed there: presidents, kings, movie stars, and the like.

That the Well was originally a girls' school

Facebook Photos - while I regroup and research for real, check out my FB photo album.

Now check out the Real Thing, cphilps' Venetian Well Facebook photos

REVIEWS - Reputation raiser or ruiner, Arturo Frömmer got it bang to rights in his crusty Frömmerian way

John's Corfu delivered one of his usual fine postings.

Agni Travel Forums - always on the ball and were the first to post my update alerting their members to the Sept 10 closure.

Best online tour

Guff I've plagiarised and will pass off as my own, along the lines of:

"The Well was constructed in 1699 by Antonio Cocchini.

Cocchini was a Venetian noble family - the modern village of "Kokkini" took its name from the family which probably owned the area back then - in the middle of a small square ("campiello" in the Italian language means a small square)

The whole area of Campiello probably took its name from this place."

And a feeble spoof of the poems that appeared in Private Eye:

So. Farewell then Venetian Well
Royalest of restaurants

They say you are closing
Forever.

What is the world coming to?
Is nothing sacred?

Keith's mum booked a table
But she never found you.
Lots of people had that problem.

Not any more. You won't be there to not find.

Years from now, some archaeologist
Restoring a priceless mural
Will uncover a Philp under the Leonardo.

The art world will go mad.

Lash for cash on September 10:
Final night, open invite to 'dismantle' the premises.

Wonder if the Mystère bunch will be in town?

Keith's mum can't make it but never mind:
I'm assured Caroline will cry. A real Kyma screamer.

Carol promises renting of garments and gnashing of teeth.
My shoulder will be ready. No greater turn-on than
A sexy woman snuffling and clutching for the Kleenexes.

Or is it Kleeneces?

Keith's mum says to wear drip-dry and go
"There there" now and then.

CLOSING SALE PARTAY, SEPT 10

You're probably too late to book.

Everyone I've reminded has come back with a

"Dude! Haven't you read your own blog?

It's the Last Supper

.

Duhh ...

And like Yo!

Is it true they're shipping in the Mystère crew to keep order?

Bummer.

Sacré Bleu, those patsies are such killjoys.

KYMA THEMA

Giftedest artist Caroline Philp is pulling off wonders in her gallery across from the new Navigators eaterie meetery (itself no slouch at wondrous meads, sweetmeats, and serveuses of lapine beauty).

That up there is, to quote CP elle-meme,

a "New roof tile, inspired by Leonardo Da Vinci, after I was given the most beautiful book about him."

I think I'll make this a Philp archive of anything that particularly catches my eye.

HOMEWORK ~ Meanwhile, I can't be bothered to reel out a whole string of facts ~ here's the lady's website and there are links to more.

PARTICULARLY EYE CATCHING

Yes, that's the sort of thing I meant.

Hope you didnt think this was going to be some tribute fillip of a weedy hommage to modom's kymalchemy.

Oh my goodness, although I say it myself, that angular snap across there is one stupendous shot of a well-denimed derrière.

I was there at the night - well, I took the snap, didnt I? - and I didnt notice the diaphanous qualité of the blouse.

And that's where red-blooded males are meant to have their gazes firmly focused ... or so I'm told.

Worrying sign.

~ Right. Back to business.

Rich and hypnotising. A touch of the Kate Bush about her.

Lucky I didn't buy this - which I would have - because I'd've kept it in the upstairs guest room/gym/sulking room and her gaze would never have left me.

Can you imagine how many crunches and stretches of the menacing grey full-tension Pilates band one would put in under that languid look. You'd never satisfy her ...

DAME LAURA KNIGHT

My artistic maman has this wonderful easel she bought yonks ago and which belonged to Dame Laura. She sez.

Sensing mortality, Mum is having beeg clear out and tidy up and wants me to sell this on Ebay. Joke.

I have contacted the Laura Knight society and was replied to by none other than Dame Laura's nephew.

Very courteous message: Need Provenance, most important. Otherwise we could be flogging something Kosta ran up in our basement-come-tsiporo still.

Keep mum: My secret desire is that it ends up with Caroline.

But shush on that.

RED

Rick Driscoll ~ Dave Good ~ Steve Hills

There is something going on down in Kondokali and clever Sue Peacock's savvy Navigators eaterie meetery musiki.

I can't work out the chemistry, but it sure as hell works.

MUSIKI ~ top sounds, top service, ambiance you can't buy.

And speaking of sounds, I am getting very hooked on that Red combo.

Whoa - went down to see out Sunday with a brewski or 5 and they blew me away.

Musicianship ~ a given

Sound system - those boys have got it spot on

Harmony teamwork ~ man they were tight and tuneful.

Word round the bar was that they don't have time to practise. Hey, you don't hammer out a set like that on chemistry alone.

Repertoire - Rick's pedigree speaks for itself and we're blessed to have a pro like that here on Prospero's Isle instead of the blighter rotting away somewhere in the upper echelons of the hit parade.

Ugh, all those fawning groupies and wads of greenbacks shoved down his Y-fronts?

Glad we've at least spared him that.

Speaking of which, where the fuck is the audience these guys deserve?

Cmahn - even if cheekie chappie Mister Good didnt know his Dm from a 5th fret capo'd Augmented 7 (which he does in spades), you gotta agree he emotes good.

Sunday's gig was as perfect as I've heard; the joint shoulda been jumping, nubile Nausicaas hauling their swarthy squeezes onto the dance floor, the rest of us scoping groping and leching.

Repertoire2 - It's all about what songs they churn out, innit?

I've not heard the Who's My Generation better f-f-f-fondled.

Red nail it: I'm not sure I want to go back to some of the Stones after hearing these guys' rework the gems.

Amy - what a tribute, what a sensitive handling of those jewels that'll gleam forever.

Does my Burns look big in this? ~ I know I know, it's unmanly naff to worry how one looks on stage. It's all about the music, right?

But they looked great and the lighting was spot on (bad pun).

My snaps don't do that night justice but they come close.

Look at Steve Hills getting his big acoustic thrum that gave such body to the evening.

An evening to remember and I wish I'd had my main camera to have included sounds and movement to make this blog post a true tribute.

Bums on seats: More to the point, feets on floor. This is a band born to bring the roof down.

Yo! Get them pert tanned asses down there.

Feel the lurve, bop to the beat.