BAD SEX

Bravo the Literary Review!

It's that time of year again ~ The Bad Sex in Fiction award.

"In a year in which literary awards have come under fire for parochialism and dumbing down ... proud to uphold and recognise literary excellence from around the world ... The purpose of the prize is to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel and to discourage it."

Google and ogle for yourselves but here are some literary 'fluffers':

From the beautiful folks who brought you the Kama Sutra: "Impossibly stiff, impossibly elegant".

Lax in tawdry matters: “She picks up a Bugatti’s momentum. You want her more at a Volkswagen’s steady trot.”

Now that's what I call product 'placement'

And do look out for "Lovely long louche manhood" ~ if memory serves, 'louche' is the last state in which to have your proud manhood when tendril titties seek the sunlight.

"Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar !" - courtesy of Stephen King

Rowan Somerville's Top 10 of good sex in fiction

"A freshly made ear and a freshly made vagina" ~ Murakami [and wouldn't you just know I'd zero in on that?]

Paul Sheehan (Sydney Morning Herald) nailing it in his usual incisive form:

"It takes a lot of bad sex to win the Bad Sex in Fiction Award, and we await the imminent announcement of this year's winner with pulsating anticipation.

My only regret is that this award is restricted to the narrow field of novels ...In particular, the field of sexual text messages - sexting - is crying out for its own award. Begging for it. The power of sexting is real, immediate, often alcohol-fuelled, sometimes bolstered by lurid photographs"

Limpest sex writers = Men