17 November 2006

Stephen King 'book' party

I have to apostrophise book' because I don't regard Stephen King as a 'writer'. I'm not sure what he *does* do but way back when I reviewed for book trade mags, I made a comment about him typing straight for the screen.

Anyway, the ace and elegant Madame Arcati in fine feline form about the scribbler's latest book launch:

"... Lisey’s Story is just out. I really can’t be bothered to read it. I prefer the movies of his books: you get through them quicker: Misery, Pet Sematary, Christine. Can’t stand The Shawshank Redemption though it’s every film fan’s all-time favourite (they pretend). Love Kubrick’s version of The Shining.

My companion and I arrive at Middle Temple only to be told by a H & S [publisher Hodder & Stoughton] serf that King’s just done the press conference. Oh, really! Don’t tell the journalists then. Who has a press conference at 6.30 in the evening?

What is it with publishers? Do they sign a pact with the devil to be congenitally stupid in return for the next Harry Potter? Are publishers the most cretinous people on this planet? If I had my way I would bundle every fucking publisher into one of those concrete mixer lorries and watch them revolve and harden into statues. Then I’d stand them in my garden over the pond life with a fishing rod sticking out of their fat arses."

Strong words and ones that sadden me.

When I bestrode the booksy world as a young turk master of its PR universe, Hodder was fielding the real McCoy such as Eric Major and Stephen du Sautoy, two giants of book publicity on whose watch no such nonsense would have been allowed, and Madame A given the blue-blood treatment she so clearly deserves.

Speaking of King, Arcati is cruel but right to link to the Rap Sheet review. By Hermes what a load of illiterate codswollop! Worse, it reads as if the author fancies himself as some sort of reviewer . I assume he's the dusky pdge snapping himself with the mis-shapen King.

Which reminds me, there's something wrong with SK, isn't there? The photo reminds me. His features aren't right or he came off the presses prematurely before his eyes and nose were accurately formed. I've often thought that or been reminded whenever I see one of those hapless spastic children with their lolling heads and dribbles into their bibs. But I digress.

Speaking of reviews and press courting, I've long since acknowledged that I could never match the likes of Hodder press hack Kerry Hood in today's wired and woolly arena - but I do know that I'd draw the line at wasting time and obsequy on the likes of the Rap sheeter. What a wanker.

PS: Who caught my 'deliberate' mistake about du Sauters being a Hodder champ? Sidgwick boy, wasn't he?

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