"Call it in, babe"

- Howard Jacobson wins Booker -

Yes, I too would look like that if I'd finally won my over-due/deserved Booker Prize and then found my laggardly publishers hadnt even frigging subMITTED me.

Wouldnt have happened on Liz Calder's watch, to use a ghastly americanism.

Mr Jacobson writes exceedingly funny abrasive books and if youre reading this blog, you'll like him, too, so scan those boot sales and 3rd hand book sales.

Booker deadline: When Dai Folly and I bestrode the land as contemptible colossi of the book publicity world, our goolies would have been on Madame Guillotine if we'd missed a trick like that.

Of course, nowadays it's the know-all pompadoured marketing children who call these crucial shots.

"Bloomsbury did not submit Jacobson's tragi-comic novel, The Finkler Question, as one of its two books for consideration.

According to one of the judges, they had to 'call in' the book."

Finkling disgrace.

"Another member of the panel insists that it is normal practice to 'call in' books"

and get this next bit of crap:

"They [Bloomsbury] were so confident about the book they knew we would call it in."

Let's hear that again in slow-mo:

'So confident ... about the book ... they knew we would call it in.'

Pass the sick bag, Alice ... no, just pass an extract.

It's a little dull, out here in lotus munching land so i'll try to name and shame the boule-dropping Bloomsbury Privicity Department.

Edward Lear - meanwhile, i hope on the Nereids' Knickers that Bloomsbury dont publish Eddie Lear because we have a Corfu lit festschrift on the bloke coming up and I will be tracking down the key publisher execs for support and dosh and suggesting they come over to Prospero's Isle for free bed at Pagoda Corfucius complete with hot 'n' cold Grecian goddesses in every nook and cranny and more caresses and lionising during the Lear gig.

I've warned the organiser that Sod's Law might have it that B'bury are the ones to woo, in which case bets are off.

Perhaps Howard might like to come as Edward - he's got the look.