14 December 2013


What a super idea - former butler who's spent the past 10 Christmases alone places advert asking for someone to share the day with him.

I'd have volunteered. For as long as I can remember, each Christmas I've been alone going back to my school hols, I've fibbed to people that I've been invited chez autres and just stayed home with a pile of self-presented music, booze of the best and cartons of cigs and cheroots. 

Even when I've decided to mix, I've caved in at the last moment and pleaded a last minute change of plans, usually involving some ancient family member whom I can't let down.

I've had some close shaves but in the main I've escaped detection. Last year was the most embarrassing:

Having told Kostas and Tasia that I was awash with invites from around the ghetto, I was huddling under a blanket by the fire last Xmas Day when up drove the entire family bearing gifts for when I returned from my Bacchanalian debaucheries. Flustered, I had to explain that a last minute outbreak of flu had laid my entire address book low.

I've told Tasia that this year will be different but she doesn't believe me.   

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