BULGER BASHERS

Too bloody slow for my liking, but we're getting there.

• Pathetic that the combined websteria/bloggerati/twitterritorial irregulars have flubbed it like this for so long, but this is a speck of daylight. 

• IDs revealed.

Siga siga, ever alert, finger on the button.

They're out there. Stalk and track. Risk, harm and death.

Caroline Philp honed website

• Wonderful crisp website.

• Everything laid out there, a clear menu of goodies.
• Excellent lay-out and clik-thru.
• No-nonsense text and captions.

 My mother, who adored Caroline and was herself no chi-chi dauber, her first comment was how 'normal' C was. 

• I love this site. Everything Caroline crafts turns to gold.
• Go to 't, admire, buy. 

One day, someone will point to a chef-d'oeuvre in your collection and ask,

"But surely, that's not an original? - my dear, how much is it worth?"

"Ssh, Henry thinks it's a copy and the original's in the vaults."

Patricia Ellen Corry Reid, RIP

God bless and God rest dear Patricia.

She was the first friend I made here when I arrived on April 11 2006 and she immediately hauled me onto her never-resting plot-hatching Corfu carousel.

I knew no-one except my mother's simper-fi garden gab-gab bunch, so wherever we met she would grab me and whizz me round the room for whirlwind intros.

She understood my mother better than I realised and looking back I see she spotted bang to rights the spiritual graveyard ahead if I continued down the vile gardenry route my mother intended for me. I was just too thick and blind to see it at the time.

Wonderful lady.

CAROLINE ~ Painter Muralist

If I hadnt just typed that headline with my own mischievous hand I'd declare it an impostor. In fact, i do distrust it and am gazing suspiciously at my typing hand as if it were some alien Dr Strangelove-like limb out to get me in trouble.

I mean, look at it - shocking in its straightforward simplicity.

Caroline Philp - painter muralist - her blog lives again.

But where the puns, the wordplay?

• Blogging babe back on the block
• Oh, Carol! - the prequel
• Karess of Kyma 
• Acrylics Ahoy!

All those ghastly attempts at whipcrack humour. Wassup?

Nope, just a celebratory post that the lady's back 'n' blogging, and she goes straight into my HTM-elliflous hit parade along with the other goodies: 

• Jimmy Potts
• Simon Baddeley
• Ricky Wells - altho' I'm wondering about Wells-sahib, his excellent bundle having gone walkabout of late.

STOP PRESS ~ Wait! Ricardo reports "Currently running two while experiencing a dry writing season.

Confident that the rain will return." 

Godspeed the downpour.

• Sideways through Zion
• Unwritten Gospels

And don't forget CP's wonderful Blurb book, swiftly yours via Fedex which transforms into Speedex for us on Prospero's Isle.

Oh how my hand itches to be of mischief!

That Diva Dauber taps my inner Gollum, but no, I'm going to behave because the hot-button links of KYMA PHILP MURALIST (what have you) will have every search engine around bringing this post up and I don't want to frighten away the faithful.

I've had to self-rap myself on the knuckles for posting an earlier 'floating mine' decoy blog that had an unsuspecting stalwart on the rocks. Whoops.

ΓΙΑ ΤΟΥΣ ΕΠΙΣΚΕΠΤΕΣ ΣΤΟ ΚΤΗΜΑ «ΣΑΝ ΛΟΥΚΑ»

My Greek language teacher, the wonderful Aleko Damaskinos, has come to my rescue wearing his other hat as professional translator.

I sit here with faeces-bespattered kitchen door, awaiting a growing list of tradespersons and acquaintances who do not turn up.

I need to go out soon but I dread the idea of visitors turning up and being subjected to the same abuse as me.

Hence this message that will greet each one    

Παρακαλώ να προσέχετε τους γείτονες μου, την Μαρία, Σοφία και Ρόμπι ΠΑΛΛΗ.

Έχουν αρχίσει να καταστρέφουν τα λουλούδια του κήπου μου και ρίχνουν περιττώματα σκύλων στην πόρτα μου.

Για να μην νομίσει κάποιος κατά λάθος ότι ανήκετε στο κτήμα μου, παρακαλώ διαπιστώσετε αμέσως την ταυτότητά σας για να μην έχετε την μεταχείριση που αρμόζει σε αυτούς.

"To Visitors to San Luca

Please be careful of my neighbours - Maria, Sofia and Robbo PALI.

They have taken to destroying flowers on my property and throwing dog faeces at the door.

To save you being mistaken as part of my household, please identify yourself immediately on sight so as to be spared the treatment they are dealing to me."

As I've said elsewhere, I need a bit of private order and citizen protection.

I should be ok because the law firm I inherited from my late mother belongs to none other than Mr Nikolaos Dendias himself - Minister of Public Order and Citizen Protection

CRAP FROM CRAP

I have already suffered offensive behaviour from my neighbours, the Pali family - Maria and Sofia and her son Robbo.

• Erecting a fence separating me from my own DEH meter.
• Rocks thrown down onto my drive
• Fixtures damaged
• General insults and harrassment as i walk round my own property

Sunday April 7, 1830hrs: I return from lunch to be faced with the kitchen door be-spattered with excrement. That's the spattered door, right - stinking of poo

Same kitchen door,left, 3 days ago. Nice and clean, guests know it as the entrance more than the formal front door. 

The Palis objected, said it kept them up, so they descended into my land when I was and smashed it akimbo, right.

Fine lamp, it was, too.  Only went on for 30 secs, enough to move from car to house.

• To add insult to ordure, as I neared the house, I thought it bizarre that Kostas should have done such odd weekend's gardening ~ and simply left the prunings scattered.

• Now I realise that the Palis must have taken advantage of their faeces flinging trespass to also litter the drive with their old prunings. 

Stoned : Chucked rocks down, big buggers.

I now have to park further in and away from their range.

Three large rocks were pitched onto my roof, only discovered when Kostas clambered up to investigate a leak at the last heavy rain.

Blatantly fencing off my DEH meter.

Sunday April 7: On return and confronted by the door, I've immediately emailed my lawyer with photo attachments and a demand that something be done. 

It is very wearing to live under such siege conditions.

Sofia and son Robbo erecting their fence

Robbo in action, isolating my meter

Note from the Palis, left at my kitchen door, demanding removal of my DEH meter from 'their' property.

• Public Order and Citizen Protection ~ that's what we need here. Look at that stern protective gaze.
• Who better to uphold it than the offices of my mother's own lawyer, Mr Nikolaos Dendias - the Minister himself of Public Order and Citizen Protection ~ Υπουργείο Προστασίας του Πολίτη.
•  D.V.C.I  to the rescue 

That should get those pesky Palis quaking in their clogs.

WARNING TO VISITORS

I am expecting visitors through the day - including my new engineer advisor.

I thought it only fair to post a warning to unsuspecting arrivals to park judiciously away from and out of range of the pelting Palis. 

SALES TAX

This one by the Sheikhs does make me laugh. The banter ...

Got a feel about it of 'caint get that stuff no more'.

anyway, a worthy subject ...

GRAND NATIONAL TIP

My annual flutter - see if any names resonate and plonk a bundle on the gee-gee.

In the absence of ~

• Anna
• Georgina
• Stephanie
• Dionysia
• Caroline
• Meryem's Mood ... I'll go with Weird Al.

At 50/1, that'll cover my best gal out on a Saturday night ... AND the message is cool.

I might hot-button it and use it for replying to keyboard wankers ... like me. 

CHILLIN' IN ME YARD

Don't like this at all. Recognise too much of the roobish what's crept into me own vocab.

But I do look forward to telling a certaine muralista that she,

"Looking buff in dem low batties."

A BREAK FROM CAREGIVING

"A bit bloody late for the battle", as Freddie Truman said to the cabbie he hailed to take him to Waterloo and was asked,

'The station, guv?'

WTF couldnt this bit of scribblery have come out earlier in all the cally-givey tomfuckery? Before the theft would've helped, but then again they had under a year to get their fingers out.

Not to worry. All this is also for my sons-in-law to-be whom my girls havent even met, let alone tried to explain the whys and wankery of the Piece of Work.

April 8 - grande anniversaire of the filcherie. If I keep the boozing up a further 3 days to the 11th, I'll be able to toast my 7th year in corner.

I always like seeing people's faces when they work it out that I hadnt even been doing the job a full year when my girls' bijouterie was nicked.

DEMOCRATIC STRAPUNTO

Why can't I post posts like this? From Simon Baddeley's already charming enough thankyou very much Democracy Street blog, this wonderful page captivated midst a sulky Wednesday morning.

I suffer badly from apnea and need a CPAP mask to breathe so's i dont stop breathing and my heart don't over-pump and all that shit.

I'm naughty and dont wear it all the time and then wonder why i'm so shagged out in the morning and why the doc refused to sign my driving test health form, because my heart is dodgy as hell. (Not to worry, i had maman's quack phone up and all was settled ex-fakelas).

anyway, i needed a new mask and i couldnt remember where we used to meet so i could remind grik-only-speaking mikalis who i was.

Used to go to this restaurant soo often with Kruella but she would not tell me the name because ... you know how hellish furious women get ... so i was thrashing around calling everyone a fool and then La Scornèd came back and did a deal and told me - Strapunto - so i goggled it and ... voilà! Sinbad had like totally nailed it in Rue Demo, complete with super photos and one of him on the verandah reading what at first looked like Brian Church's guide to Grik in 25 years. But I digress.

Just sayin', i should mellow out a bit and try to write more like the Prof.

BEST POISSONS

NYT best April foolishness.

THEFTOMADA

 Thefti Sabbato 7th approacheth, the day in April 2007 when my 40 years' bequeathia of personal jewelry was filched behind my back and transported to Villa Thefti-en-Toscane.

There to be 'lost' or at least never explained or accounted for.

 I usually crack open a boukali of decent shampoo on the day but this year feels different so I'm dedicating and em-bubbling the whole four days, 4th - 11th, corks all over the floor.





Just rot-gut mousseux this year -

Cheap vileness of the crime

Reflected in the wine

ΟΧΙ, OXI ~ OCHI, NAI!

Troika Rules. 

Out with Greek alphabet

Troika-forced transliteration rules to be implemented

"If we can't get our heads around this crazy script after so many years in the country, what chance does a tourist spending a few days or weeks of understanding it?" one troika mandarin commented.

He said ditching Greek characters will lead to immediate savings and would thus contribute to paying off the country's onerous debt.