07 May 2011


Ace news - brave new world!

This may be the one ... I can practically hear the honing of the Bowie knives of the soi-disant Team Sixers out there as they catch the scent. Pray god the net data is cool - I mean warm.

Egad, what's going on?

  • Laden Nailed
  • Harwood Harried
  • The Cambridges Well Wed

    ... and now Venal Balls in our sights. Agog for the next instalment.

    New ID ~ the encouraging aspect of Venables needing yet another identity is that pretty soon he's going to land up so befuddled over which ID to be on that he'll use his original name 'n' all and introduce him as the Bulger biffer. Can you imagine the silence in the bar?

    It'll be like driving in a foreign country: at first, you know your instinct is to go to the wrong side, then you familiarise so you're OK, then you're at a cross-roads or making a swift turn and your brain tells you to get it right - fast.

    You over-over correct and end up on the incorrect side.

    One day, Venables will catch a curved ball question that will require him to know A but not B, D but not E. He'll scramble to come up with the new ID, i.e. the most recent autobiog with which he's least familiar - which will include his Venal Balls personna because it's deep in the closet.

    Fun. God can you imagine the hackers and e-trackers sifting thru all the 'noise' and mirror sites and whatnot to stick it to The Man.

    Million quid ID ~ I love it that this 4th ID is costing us a mill'. Just the thing to get some tax-paying civil servant minion to on the old whistle blower.

    And as I said, he'll be so confused by now that he'll be on his 3rd spliff, riffling thru Paedo Monthly [incorporating ShirtLifter Weekly] and some dolly will sit down beside beside him,

    "Want a good time, duckie? I'm Lisa"

    "Oh yeh right, I'm Jon"

    "Wot? As Venereal Bibbles? You know the one I mean, shoved the kid under the choo-choo ... porno-"

    "Wasn't like that at all ...."

    Aha! With one bound, the thuggo sleuth will rip the wig off and call to the rest of The Firm, "Told you it was him, tuck in, lads."

    I can feel the cursors cruising and the keyboards tapping and the Twitters twatting ... not long now, the algorithms are spinning ... Venal Balls' days on the run numbered.

    The Hounds of Fate - remember that Saki short story? Jonno will stagger out of a boozer and there in the courtyard, moonlight glittering off their dusters ... oh poh poh ... what a chase that'll be ... teased out for max thrills, JV's panicked breath coming faster and louder in the gloaming.

    Nay, lad, they don't make posses like that no more.

    "Take him down t'tracks, lads. Midnight Special from Adlestrop due any minute now."

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