Plebgate

PLEBS

Pleb insult ~ Mitchell has had it. He sounds worse with every sound bite.

What amuses me is his owning up to the rest of the language but not the most obvious - for him, the spot-on use of 'pleb'.

He can't be expecting us to believe that, out of the blue, Inspector Plebby Plod is going to plonk 'pleb' in his mouth. Way above his vocabulary pay grade ... except that ...

In Mitchell's shoes, character and background, what the fuck else would one call the Filth.

But don't you adore the cuttingest remark of the whole encounter - and which most people seem to have missed - the fact that with all his bluster and foul mouthery, he still doesnt cowe the honest peelerine past a mere claim to chief whippery. That must gall the intemperate 'Thrasher'.

I've been going round asking like-minded, like-educated types what other word fits the bill coming from the Mitchell marf?

There ain't none. The rhythm and choleric circumstances leave no alternative on top of which the pleb Filth are hardly going to come up with that word on their own.

I used to bandy it about soon after school but none of my new play or workmates fronking understood it (the plebs), so i went back to the sort of lingo they understood.

Story of my life: speak and write to the enjoyablest of my ability and instead of collecting a knuckle sarnie or my guitar kicked in it's like "You wha'? Blimey, we don't all talk like Shakespeare."

In America they have a special category, enabling my Amazon colleagues to halt me mid-QA correction with a "Dude! We're not all English Majors." I still dont know what an english major is - possessor of colonial A-levels in English? Uni degree?

Anyway, Mitchell is going to need a make-over and that pink tie has to go.

STOP PRESS ~ Mitchellgate ~ thick-skinned pleb plods refuse apology. This has legs.

Full 442-word report.

"... several members of public present ... Mr Mitchell said:

'Best you learn your f------ place . . . you don’t run this f------ government . . . you’re f------ plebs.’ ”

Chief Whip warned that he if he continued to swear he would be arrested under the Public Order Act."

Official police log - including 'Mad-dog' Mitchell unwisely trumpeting his puny job as if it carried any weight or entitled him to insult our noble peelers.

"Take heed, sirrah; the whip", indeed.

The next few performances at the Almeida? That line will bring the house down.

In the eye - do you see where we're going with this? 'Mad-dog' made direct, un-Englishly eye contact with Dave, and vowed by his cat-o'-nine-tails that he did not use THAT WORD. Same as Clinton did not 'make love' to Monica and, even wayer back, Jack Profumo didn't know about Christine and the Russkie.

A fib? Jack's kingdom for a fib? How quaint we all thought ... but now here's Mad-dog falling foul of a forked tongue.

Sound bite ~ Here's my guess: one of those shocked bystanders will get home and download that day's snaps and there in the background audio will be Mitchell effing and plebbing away. Out there somewhere is Andy's come-uppance that will give the lie to this whole sordid affair.

New Yorker ~ Quick crammer in advance of David Cameron’s appearance on Letterman.