30 October 2012

FORMER

craig brown is always good value

3 comments :

Simon Baddeley said...

Nice piece indeed. My stepfather was wised up to these codes. His last appearance on TV went out almost exactly the same hour he died. As he would have said - one of the few shows he'd not done 'live'. Even so during a hiatus when he was off-air for a year, a 'former' viewer approached and asked "Didn't you used to be (name)?" Even earlier (to continue this ramble about the oddity of the meeja's one-way simulation of intimacy - the old porter at his London club said one evening "Saw you on the Television Sir. If I may say so - a very good likeness" Another time a delighted lady said how much she'd enjoyed him last night (sic) adding "..and did you like my new curtains?"

Corfucius said...

do you remember in 'spinal tap' theyre sitting around on the radio comes a 'where are they now?' item? poh poh.

Dad used to be on hong kong TV often and once when mum was also there, dolled and hatted up the wazzoo, they watched it together in the study and afterwards mum said 'i thought my hat looked rather good.'

you have to know that dad was the least vain man. he turned to mum, "oh, were you there, too?" blimey he didnt half catch it.

even vainer, in my 'gap year' i was hauled on so often that i often didnt bother to tune in: i had cheeky col in the south china morning post, played geetar in various low dives, and used to be good for a 'quote' until the 'Lexicon' bar banned everyone under 18. i was called in as resident yoof and asked my reaction: 'quite right! god, these squits ... last people you want around when youre trying to enjoy a scotch or 3. mind you, the under-age totties are always welcome.'no no, the producer said, youre meant to be 'indignant' ' too late, it had been 'live' as it all was back then.
next time i went in, the guv'nor yelled out "You!" to which i said, 'hey, i'm 18 ... er just'
"You! you drink free here, and bring them totties!' nods all round from the soaks.
the scmp tried to run a piece about 'son of senior government advocates under-age drinking' but i said i didnt say that, i just said that i didnt like 18 yr olds around, or not my *fellow* 18-yr-olds. too much competition for the gels.

when they tried to winkle a quote from dad he had no idea what they were talking: "News to me. what's christopher been up to now? soundfsd like him. so let me get this straight, *what's* the legal drinking age?"

dear Dade, later that evening over dinner he asked "I gather you went on television to discuss the legal drinking age?"
'dad! i didnt *go* on television, i was invited on.'
"but we have a government dept that legislates on these things.'

'forget it, dad'.

god i miss him.



Simon Baddeley said...

Miss. Oh yes indeed. I'm at my mum's house now in the Highlands. I speak to her hoping she can hear me but I think she'll be leaving us soon and I'll at last be the 'older' generation. She's had a wonderful life, born in the month of the storming of the Winter Palace, war correspondent for Vogue, maker of adventures for her family. A strong women 'not going gently etc.."