Rhythm to the White Race

~ Bono Thribb ~

I search and search for the full text of that overweening PD Hewson's Poem to Elvis.

Perhaps, as part of its idiot decision to actually broadcast the 'verse', the Beeb feels it can stave off derision by leaving it as late as possible to unveil its full incompetence.

Hewson's birthday a few days hence, on May 10, advances him dangerously towards that age where pomposity and malodorous sanctity of his brand are more difficult to overlook and meet less patronising good humour.

Here is some of the laughable poesie, verbatim as reproduced in McCormick's article:

"Elvis the hillbilly brought rhythm to the white race, blues to pop, and rock'n'roll to where ever rock'n'roll is.
elvis the pelvis, swung from africa to europe, which is the idea of america.
elvis liberation.
elvis the kung fu would come later.
elvis hibernation.
elvis built a theme park he later called Graceland.
elvis woke up to whispers.
elvis thought of himself as a backslider.
elvis knew guilt like a twin brother.
elvis called God every morning then left the phone off the hook.
elvis turned las vegas into a church when he sang "love me tender".
elvis turned america into a church when he sang "the trilogy".
elvis was harangued by choice; flesh vs spirit, God vs rock'n'roll mother vs lover, father vs the colonel.
elvis grew sideburns as a protest against tom jones' hairy chest."