PHAT PHREAK-OUT

~ Blub 'n' Burr ~

Absolutely hilarious rant by cuddly Emma Clark over Kristen cheating on 'Twilight' Pattinson.

In fact, we seem to be in an orgy of mea culpas and blubbing over this one: Kristen's apologising to everyone, Rupert's breast-beating to everyone; Pattinson's boo-hooing and behaving like the first dumpee since like evah.

And now Billie-Jean Bunter venting in glorious rich yokel vocal mode.

Remember that grotesque cross-dresser freaking out about all us bounders giving Britney such a bad time when she went loopy and shorned off those golden tresses?

But oh boy - Hippo Clark clearly has a passion for chisel-jawed Roberto ... can you imagine if she actually tracked and pinned him down?

Beneath those quivering jowels wobble thighs of steel - narrow escape for Robbie.