It's that joyous time of year when the wonderful Literary Review chooses its short-list of Bad Sex scribblers.
"The 21st annual award for the most embarrassing passage of sexual description in a novel - Tuesday 3 December 2013.
"The purpose of the prize is to draw attention to the crude, badly written, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it.
"In a year in which the Man Booker Prize has tentatively stretched its remit across the Atlantic, the Bad Sex Award, which has long been cosmopolitan and ecumenical, is delighted to present a shortlist that reaches from the USA to India, and from writers in their pomp to one published from beyond the grave.
Among this year's shortlist
My Education by Susan Choi
The Last Banquet by Jonathan Grimwood
House of Earth by Woody Guthrie
Motherland by William Nicholson
The Victoria System by Eric Reinhardt
The World Was All Before Them by Matthew Reynolds
The City of Devi by Manil Suri
Secrecy by Rupert Thomson
(not sure what Wells-sahib will say about HoE making the cut but it'll be sump'n, that's for sure; prolly know the exact passage)
* Excerpts courtesy of the Torygraph