Can you imagine Wrightson & Platt's phone ringing off the hook after this publicity.
Those silver 'limbs' are like the body parts regi-knappers send to distressed parents with the ransome note, "£5m in the lav on Tooting Common if you want to see the rest of the kid alive."
Cringe-making coverage - young thing with ghastly accent talks us through but at least we learn from the article that,
'To create these unusual moulds, the three-month-old future king would have had his limbs placed in a jelly-like organic mould of water and a seaweed-based powder.
The process only takes 30 seconds - but for a wriggling newborn, that's a long time.'
Imagine - or don't - a replica of the dauphin's hands and feet in silver.
Wrightson & Platt on Facebook : Now, none of you is to do anything silly like be-friending or scrawling silly comments. These are serious craftspeople who see people like Pippa coming.
Images of W&P
Quoth Wrightson & Platt, the guilty party in this whole ghoulish money-making scheme: "baby hands and feet 'life cast in silver' are a perfect keepsake to preserve precious memories in the finest material." Yes, well ...
Know a sucker when they see one.
But watch the video in this second clip - absolutely riveting, if only for the way the royals greet THE Royale, Her Majesty - distant nervous air kiss, quick bob curtsey. Excruciatingly
correct and impeccably timed choreography. Never seen that before - never seen so many royals around HM, as the piece points out.
Bruiser - Et le Prince! Quel bruiseur!
Psst - who's manipulating his hand, why's it bobbing up and down? Or does he just have early onset of Parkinson's?
But his face! Magnificent! That's how I like my future Liege, cruel, commanding, venal, grabbing.
Och! I bet there's not many who've gazed with such (literal) lèse-majesté insouciance on our fragrant monarch and escaped hospitality in the Tower.
Is that not the most hideous piece you ever saw? Perfect door-knocker for a loner like me: trespassers come up to Gouvia Heights but are too squeamish to actually touch the grisly thing and depart again.
Once again, this blog posts where others fear to tread.