Leaves on track; soapy soap in shower

Just when you've read it all, you haven't.

Here's an idiot member of the Rye Golf Club, 72 years old (blithering fogey):

"Slipped in a changing room shower ... suing his club for up to £50,000 in damages - claiming it was “too slippery”."

Too slippery?? Now I've heard everything - how do you think soap is *meant* to behave? Get them to give you one of those mats or don't blood go in the shower. Blimey, I just bet you were the resident Club Thicko and Bore and they're glad to be shift of you for a while after the thoroughly deserved tumble.

If you really *are* 'unable to play golf since the fall', and it's not your weasel lawyer putting you up to it, then your fellow members will be ordering doubles and asking each other do they really want to share club house facilities with a buffoon who'd put in a claim of this idiocy.

'The club failed to ensure “anti-slip measures” were taken.' Pass the sick bag, Alice.

The bright side of this cloudy ploy to pass himself off as thicker than thick is that this berk Anthony Avery - and, again, he could be fibbing to make more dosh - ended up with a

"£5,000 private operation to repair damaged ligaments to his right shoulder."

Of course it was a private operation - no claims office would believe that such a ham-footed upset was anything but self-inflicted and a splendidly just desert. That's the one bit of the story that cheered me up.