30 December 2008

God's Guitar

One day on Bainbridge, I was driving with G and we breasted the hill from Ferncliffe and there below was a broad band of sun slicing thru the cloud right down on the Safeway sign.

"God's ... Supermarket," I said in my serioso basso God voice.
We both laughed but realised later that if I'd snapped the shot we might have sold it to the Safeway press dept for some bucks.
So. You know where I'm heading. Soon as i saw the sunbeam hitting the Axminster, I tastefully arranged the Ovation and snapped away, hoping I'd get a shot worthy of the luthiers' next catalog.

Of course, it doesnt work - just lying there inside on a mat. I shoulda been plucking on the patio with a pal with a camera conveniently at hand when suddenly she gasps,

"Omigod ... that ... bright ray ... I can't see ..."

I look up and am blinded.

A Voice booms down,

"oKAYY!! Now you's blind, gone make it easier fo' the boys to fix you up wit' streety name. Next, NO MORE FAFFIN' AROUND with those idiot compositions. It's back to basics, back to the blues with you ..." etc etc.

Then He frazzles my Ovation (sob sniff; was a good friend) and hands me down a hot Taylor with latest electronics.

The smokin' wreck of the Ovation is bought by Ovation Inc for a sum that keeps my gels in comfort for the rest of their days ... and the geetar stays smoking and is hailed as a miracle.

Pickers come from far and wide to worship. Scientists do tests but they never work out the everlasting smoulder.

In fact, one machine designed to expose the trickery spontaneously combusts and a mighty rumble is heard that, recorded and played back at 45rpm, can be heard chuckling, "Do Me a favour! Har har".

Post-script: I knew  I wasn't happy with that last feeble line; knew it wasn't Le Bon Dieu rumbling.

I've respun it at 78rpm and it's Mistah Wells:

"Unhand Barry's banjo! Hie thee below to yon crossroads!"

In the Nick of time.

1 comment :

Wells said...

Barry Manilow gets light from above - the blues light emanates from below.

to the crossroads with you!