LILIES OUT OF SWIMMING POND

I set myself the task of fitting the pool cover on to stop it leafing over.

First I needed to clean what was already in the pool which meant even firster getting those effing lilies out of the SSW corner.

I'm not an idiot. I don't deliberately chill or inconvenience myself unless there's a pretty girl to showoff to or loads of dosh at the end.

Do you know, I could not yank those pots out: just too heavy and watery, sooo ...

At a friendly 44 fahrenheit outside and what looked like 40F when I dipped it in the pool, I went into the pool and grasped the water-logged deadweight and just yanked it onto each step til i could finally heave it onto the ledge and clamber out.

(Actually, it felt pretty good to be out and wonderfully warm, tho' I would have liked a shapely witness to be google-eyed at my devotion to duty and haul me under the warm shower and rub me down.)

I don't want to see those bloody plants again ...

Comment: Tally-ho! Mr Wells to the rescue! A witty poem for which I have the perfect Damsel/Samsel foto.

Look closely under the surface of the pool by the blue deckchairs and you'll see the accursèd lily pot that I dragged across and out on this brass monkey of a day.

"Gasp, went the google-eyed damsel with glee:
cojones pequenos - a shock for to see;

It's just the cold water
caused this slight loss,
a shower will fix it
and then a quick toss?

So the gardener and damsel
exit stage left,
leaving Sam much like Argos
alone and bereft."