Unviewable

Who remembers the Hancock sketch where he's taken a who-dunnit out of the library only to find that someone has removed the last page? An increasingly demented Hancock visits each previous borrower, grabbing them and shouting "Who did it? Who did it??".

I'm in a similar situation, having rented the intriguing Untraceable from the local DVD store which - aarrghh!! - went on the blink at the moment when dishy Diane Lane's wimpo sidekick (played by Tom Hanks' son) gets kidnapped by the murderer and taken down to the acid bath.

I took it back to the shop and expressed my frustration as well as urgent need for a replacement to put myself out of my misery.

No, they didn't have a second copy, but if I rented one from elsewhere and let the owner know the how and where and when of the crucial dastardly deed, he'd let the others know.

Aargh!

The NYT gives it a scathing review but I was rather riveted to the Lazee-boy recliner - until Hanks fils got grabbed which is when I starting kicking the canine and eyeing the bourbon.

Clever Times, it also gives the link to the killwithme website featured in the movie where the more ghouls log in, the quicker the hapless victim dies.

Our heroine - 'Jennie Marsh' works for the FBI's cyber crimes division and churns out geeky argot that I totally fell for but which won't for nano-second fool the likes of apond or edgeworth.

Whatever the ultra-sexy Ms Lane is, she's not a 'Jenny'.

Check out the skilfully spliced trailer which, par for the course, made me wonder if I'd seen the same movie.