21 April 2009

Earth's Third Biggest Biggest

BBC World News compère to colleague for stocks update: "So, Tesco - earth's biggest retail store"

"Yep! After Carrefour and Wal-mart."

  • What the deuce does that mean?
  • Some feeble patriotic flag waving?
  • Can't let the Frenchies and Amer'cans beat us - that it?

  • Ah so - this is what it was about. Merely Britain 's biggest supermarché - not the frigging giant of the universe the idiot teleprompter had my compatriots all excited about.

    But still threatening to upsize.

  • And let's hear it for Kroger.

    American Shopper said...

    England has Tesco.
    How does that compare with our Kroger?

    Busker said...

    Do you know, i don't know. Theyre Cincinnati, Ohio, right? I'm more an HEB (San Antone) and Safeway (Seattle/Bainbridge island) man. anyway, I was only quoting this ludicrous exchange between the two reporters. The proper chat would have gone:
    Anchor: So, Tesco, earth's biggest retailer ...
    Reporter: you kidding? There's carrefour and wal-mart wayy above it-
    Anchor: ok, no need be like that - i'm just reading from this idiot ill-informed prompter
    Reporter: And dont get me started on that Kroger lot
    Anchor: They're Ohio based, i believe
    Reporter: Cripes, is that what your teleprompter says?
    Anchor: No way - the teleprompter would've placed the chain down in Hawaii or even Guantànamo
    Reporter: Dude! You even got the accent right. You, like, actually been there?
    Anchor: Kroger or Guantàna-wotsit?
    Producer: can we get on with the financial report and stop swapping shopping hints?

    American Shopper said...

    Thanks for giving Kroger a mention!
    Yes, I think their Head Office is
    there. We are in PA.

    Busker said...

    My very great pleasure to plug Kroger and, of course, it makes me look terribly worldly with my inter-continental familiarity with the best of shopping experiences.