OPRAH OWNED

Long-awaited much hyped Kitty Kelley biog of cuddly Mizz Oprah is out.

Despite Opie's pressure on the top chat shows to cold-shoulder La Kelley, the very fact of its ostracization has ensured it mega publicity.

Possibly more than if Oprah had left it all alone in the first place.

Luscious literate 'HitGurl' Hadley Freeman lifting the Grauniad's 'Lost In Showbiz' page out of its usual doldrums by using Kelley's informed razor job to put its own badass boot in.

Only that crisp English major style could whup our weighty freighty Winfrey every which way and - er - loose.

Watch La Plumpa go rump rampant.

Literary shuckin' and jivin' at its best, our fave darkie diva down on the mat 'n' writhin'.

Vet is Pa: Oh and look who they dredged up to pose as pater. Surely they can do better than that?