Token Tory rosette-toting joker

Amusing piece by Camilla Long on the trail of a right twonker, 'token rosette-toting joker, Jacob Rees-Mogg, the Tory parliamentary candidate for Somerset North East and David Cameron’s worst nightmare.

Educated at Eton and Oxford, the cane-stroking hedge fund manager is an immaculately besuited Lurch lookalike who has always refused to tone down his act, or as he puts it, “drop my aitches.”'

Very witty bit of writing, in fact, and I hope he got his elusive leg thoroughly pulled wherever he dared pop up.

"The place is quiet and manicured and the gates are open when we arrive so I gingerly walk up the drive and ring the doorbell.

The door is answered by a housekeeper who tells me she doesn’t know where he is and or when he’ll be back. Obviously, she’s been speaking to Margaret, a suspicion that is confirmed when, barely reaching the bottom of the drive, my mobile phone rings.

It’s the editor’s office: they have had a complaint that I’ve been 'trespassing on Jacob Rees-Mogg’s land, causing a disturbance and making a general nuisance of myself', which is probably the most elaborate description of knocking on doors that I’ve ever encountered.

How does Jacob do it himself? Stand at gates and throw leaflets?

I decide to go back to Keynsham and confront Margaret."

Lovely turns of phrase, has that Ms Long:

Nailing Rees-Mogg’s campaign manager Margaret as 'a flinty rural matron masterminding — well, what? Nothing, apparently.'

"We call Margaret a few times, but she’s still masterminding her pen-top."

Masterminding her pen-top! Saayy good ~ I must remember that for my next speech about the local Greek bureaucracy.