CORFU LIBERTY?

Liberties with Corfu, more like.

"Mission Background

The location is Corfu Island in a small coastal town during the German occupation of Greece. The occupying forces have turned the town into a coastal fortress, turning out and forcing the locals into hiding in the hills of Corfu.

The Mission Story

Hiding in the Corfu hills you see your people suffer and long to have their homes back again. With most able-bodied Greek men either imprisoned or in resistance actions elsewhere freedom of the town looks a long way off. But the sudden promise of Allied air support for the local resistance in knocking out the beach artillery, which is becoming a problem for the passing transports, gives you an idea that is surely a suicide mission.

On a clear night you set off alone to free your town from it's dark oppression, or die trying."

Goodness, it sounds like something Big Jim Richardson should be lecturing on.

Plugging of which, I trust we are all meeting tonight at the Durrell School, 1930hrs, to hear James talk about his yet-to-arrive book on the Ionians & Epirus.

(I know, that drat lamp was angled to zap into my eyeballs, too, but no one said owt and I myself was too busy admiring the lush coiffure of the lady in front, who was every bit as beautiful from the front.

Don't you hate it when you get a 'bluffer'? They should be made to sew a patch on their jeans bum announcing "Dog".

So yes, there you are barreling along in the Jag, "That's All Right, Mama" blaring from the stereo - suddenly there's this knockout hair and knockout bod sashaying down Perithia High Street.

Dangerous as hell but Lust Oblige: you slow right down (causing the truck behind you to take hasty evasive action) and as you draw level you execute that really really dangerous maneuver of taking your eyes off the road and traffic ahead to crane round and catch a frontal glimpse of Ms Sashaying Big Hair.

Don't do this at home, kids - it is ONLY justified in the case of a genuine Hellenic hottie.

"Yes, officer, I was just thinking the same things myself, at least be busted for scoping someone hot."

Loipon, for what it's worth, my red-head neighbour was well worth pranging the hotrod, but dont you dare tell her husband I said so. These literary gatherings are not for low lifers like me to scan for new talent

But enough of authorship and back to that other suicide mission: dodgy moonlight meetings in small coastal towns.

How's about this?

'Thumper' Thompson of the famous tag team Venables & Thompson finds himself once again on the run when the Filth finally bust his buddy

Brilliant disguise - takes cover as a rep i/c maintenance for a hotel on Corfu Island in a small coastal town ... yakka dakka.

Dastardly local fuzz see their chance and pin a longstanding gassing rap on the poor blighter

Not just clever cover but wonderful timing - isn't March 4 resumption of the laughing-stock hearing of the real-life Venables on whom we're trying to pin the poisoning.

Right on, gamesters! That's what I call a marketing coup and a story to run with ...

I can see it now:

South to Kavos to knock out the beach artillery

That suicide mission oop t'north to rescue Perithia and points north from Living Dead developers

... but I'm giving the game away.

Advanced gamesters will thrill to the challenge of split-second trigger decisions ~ resident or rogue? Get it wrong and that's yer cosy taverna transformed into an all-inclusive earner, whoops there sprouts another grotty art gallery, there a cookie-cutter villa by a cookie-cutter Norm Foster trained-alike.

May Day May Day - Grockles 10 o'clock.

The game that's unashamedly POW!