BRYONY GORDON

I have a fixation about the Telegraph's witty literate eye-candifying scribbler, Ms Bryony Gordon.

Google her and read some of her pieces; you won't share my enjoyment but at least clue up on where a certain style of writing is going.

My pre-luncheon Pimms always tastes that little more tasty when I come to her page and I particularly thrill to the Torygraph's savvy playing to its readers by plonking down a pic of La Gordon twice as large (and bosomy, thank Gawd) as whomever she's covering.

That, Lord Copper, is how to keep readers - Patriots and Traitors.