'Prejudice' burned into furrowed brow

Serious sour grapes outpouring from Chris "John Davison" de Burgh (a popular entertainer) whose songs I've found melodious enough but whom I've always suspected of being suspiciously humourless and with great curmudgeon potential should his vanity be tweaked the wrong way.

Every entertainer should read this: it's the classic esprit d'escalier (not!) sulky schoolboy rant that we scrawl out over a large glass of poteen and then hastily crumple for the bin the bleary next morning.

"Being a theatre critic and not a music critic, you must have strayed into the Gaiety by mistake last Monday night, possibly looking for the rear entrance to Neary’s pub, but you certainly arrived with the word 'prejudice' burned into your furrowed brow.

How it must have galled you to hear the rapturous welcome I received at the start of the show; how you must have writhed at every standing ovation; how you must have cringed at every call of “Chris, we love you”; how you must have felt isolated as the audience rose to their feet as one, singing, dancing and shouting out for more; how you must have growled to yourself as you left, surrounded by so many happy people, to make your curmudgeonly way to the safety of the street outside.

You really should look up the word “entertainment” again, you might be surprised to see that it is all about people having a GOOD TIME!! Your churlish review is an insult to all those who enjoyed their night out, and in these days of collapsing newspaper sales and an entire new generation on the way who will get their information online, you may be looking for another job sooner rather than later.

Your pals in the pub must have loved your review, but it seems that you are universally loathed in the theatre world. A leading impresario has described you as “puffed up with his own self-importance”, and a much-loved and successful actress refers to you as 'that loathsome little turd'.

Great accolades, to be sure."