MISS ITALIA 2009

Y'can't win them all

Oh the tension and suspension ... the cheers and fears, the plummeting careers, the crocodile tears ... the embraces and pinched faces, the 'who cares who wins' and the fixed rictus grins ... the pouts and clouts and leers and jeers ... the slings and arrows (not to mention the spears) ... all the world a stage and all of us in a mighty rage ...

Photos

Winner Perrusi (right) looking the required plastic and pliable and with de rigueur come-hither look.

My preferred favourite? Runner-up, la plus belle et naturelle Mirella Sessa (left and larger).

Ahem - I wouldn't mind the job of that lucky bugger in the video who's slapping lubricant all over Signora Perrusi's luscious embonpoint.

Ack, silly me! That's gone to the bounder Berlusconi