Linda Sarah Helen

I note that my Twitter twin, toughie business supremo Jack Welch, has spotted Gordon Brown as 'a dead man walking'.

I agree: when you're so frazzled you storm out of a TV interview, the end is nigh.

Spot on, frère Jacques.

Deuced clever, therefore, for Gordie to have gone for the distracting ploy of dolling up his missus as a Helen Goddard lookalike. (OK, an HG d'un certain age).

Still hard to tell them apart.

Always thought that a presentable spouse was essential to Poisonality-challengés coves like dour Bruin.

Same went for that fakeroo Jeffrey Archer and his icy fragrant Mary.

But got to give it to him, he wove a damn'd good story. Some of his books were page-turners, too.

I had a 'Sarah Brown' once. Married her, too.

Much too good for me.

I remember sitting in the bar of the Mandarin Hotel Hong Kong eavesdropping on two shrewd types talking about *me*:

"Perfectly nice chap, but when it comes to getting things done, I say hire the wife or the brother."

God that hurt. Damn damn that hurt.

It hurt because it was so goddam true.

Great line, tho'.