LENS LIBRARY ALERT!

~ calling all snappers and true ~

* Achtung! * May Day * Bandits @ BAPLA o'clock *
* Scramble scramble, if not Σκαρφαλώστε Σκαρφαλώστε *
*Αναρριχώμαι σκαρφάλωμα!*

You knoww  when I use Rockwell Extrah BΩld for a headline that's it's red alert time for Hasselblad-hefting Corfucian Irregulars to whip off the Clark Kent specs, de-knee that κούκλα and plod into action.

There's a loada BAPLA crapla going down on Vine Hill London EC and my Main Man, the nonpareil Gwyn Headley (whom God preserve), is on the warpath.

Which, citoyens, means we too sharpen the flints, daub up and pull our f-stops out.

Sérieusement, Gwyn is founder of the inestimable (and much-mentioned in these pages) fotoLibra ~ the open access market place for buying and selling image rights to and from the gentry - and now he's now being dissed, dumped, plagiarised and every other -ised by a right bunch of scally-wags.

And so is his lady:

See those eyes up there?

Could you deny them anything?

Too right, butty, so it's Urddas i Gymru and Swords of Avalon at the ready.

See that face stage left?

Could you ... sorry, what's that, Simon? Yes, old boy, very sad ... trot along now, there's a good lad.

Point made.

Loipon:

1. Gwyn's Blog
2. fotoLibra Pro Blog
3. Gwyn's original letter:

"We're having a small dispute with BAPLA, our trade industry body, which is setting up in business in direct competition with fotoLibra, one of its own members.

Crudely put, but that's about the bones of it.

You can read the story in the fotoLibra blog firstly here and secondly here ~ and you can read BAPLA's version of the events in answer #8 to the first blog, and subsequently here

If you can possibly spare the time, we would really appreciate it if you could post a comment to one or other of the blogs.

I'm not asking you to take sides; just comment as you see fit.

Or blog it yourself!

Gwyn Headley
gwyn.headley@fotoLibra.com * Follow me on twitter * fotoLibra PRO BLOG * Gwyn's personal blog * www.fotoLibra.com"

Well now - when was the last time you were asked anything  so politely, let alone the simple assistance to stand up for fair play?

Hammer of Justice, Bell of Freedom stuff, what? Just up my homies' e-hood.

Do read all the links I've laboriously incorporated ~ at considerable inconvenience to my elevenses cocktail hour, I'll have you know ~ and do also read crapla Bapla's drippy response, the one that affects crocodile

"sadness [with which] we at BAPLA read the latest post on the fotoLibra blog, a blog that was full of misconceptions that led to many inaccurate statements.

Due to the potentially destructive and libellous accusations, BAPLA is forced to respond to reassure members and the industry that fotoLibra is completely mistaken in its perception of BAPLA’s future plans."

A propos of nowt, I checked with Ariadna on the etymology of Μπαπλα:

Moi: "If I recall from my Oxford salad days, 'Μπαπλα!' was the cuss of choice aboard the Argonaut whenever those wave-hogs of Pelias cut Jason off down that fast stretch on the Black Sea.

'Μπαπλα Malaka!' they'd bellow from the poop deck with many an unambiguous finger gesture.

Bit of the old Pony Spanker, I'd wager?"

A: "Is close, Sir Chris, except for subtle difference from 'wanker': Μπαπλα doesn't convey quite the same sense of respect."

Ayup, lads, there you have it - and I know you're out there with your Brownie 127s, packed lunches and battered Herodoti and Homers.

Thanks, guys. You help my homie, you help me.

Προσφέρουν βοήθεια σε έναν καλό φίλο

Psst ~ if any of you hard-hearted locust munchers need any further persuasion, voilà a furtive snap from the Blackberry of the fragrant Yvonne bawling her heart out on pensive Gwyn's puissant thigh.

Oh woe! Who will do battle on her behalf with the BAPLA bullies' boorish bandit ways?

Sob, heave - I know, like todally not Yvonne, but work with me, babe.

Distress Alert! Dishy Damsel in Despair.

Dept of Who'd be a Captain of Industry?

Who'd be a Millionaire, indeed?

I used to envy my old mucker Gwyn his 4D fotoLi-bra cup of dosh, hot wheels, beautiful aviateuse  lady but I think again since BAPLA-gate.

My language would be off the scale but read how "Folly" Hedders keeps his cool.

Read his patient long-suffering response to even the looniest illiterate swivel-eyed nonsense. The man's a hero:

"We all have to live with spam, and if a blog or a site is widely read or visited, we have to accept that among its users there will be people who hold violently different opinions to the majority.

Do we allow them their comments, or not?

Well we do, even when the one tired old fotoLibra Stalker, frothing over his keyboard, posts another gratuitous assault on the company he loves to hate. It’s his point of view, warped and twisted though it may be, so up it goes.

If anyone is remotely interested, I’ll post the story of how many years ago a sad man flagellated himself into this state of apoplectic rage.

On the other hand, we will delete out-and-out spam and comments which have no relevance. Someone posted something like “Way – Hey! R E E E S P E E E C T!” on the BAPLA Shock Horror blog posting the other day, so as it added nothing to the debate I deleted it.

Back came a resentful “So much for Open Access.” I deleted that too.

If you posted those and you really want to contribute, why not say what you want to say instead of just shouting incoherently? It will be published.

I have to scan through all the spam that’s picked up by the excellent Akismet plug-in for WordPress, because something genuine might slip through. Sometimes they make me smile with their guile, but this one brought a tear to my eye:

"Copywriting: Good copywriters are very well considerated because they achieve very good results.

For exemple, a good headline can make that much more people read your post."

The person can’t write English. Yet he’s offering copywriting services. Very … very … very; good … good … good — two words repeated 6 times in 33. Bad style, I’d say.

“Considerated”. Is this George W. Bush coming back to haunt us?

“For exemple”, for example.

“Make that much more people”? Wrong, wrong, wrong!

I wouldn’t dream of going to Saudi Arabia and setting up as a Hafiz. What makes this guy go to the lengths of spamming something which proves he’s incompetent?

What hope! What confidence! To set up a spamming business offering something you so clearly cannot do! It’s like the fotoLibra Stalker deluding himself he’s a photographer."

Dis donc. I'm sorry my thrusting boss copy applic for a copywriter post was de-considerated. The man's just jealous.

I crafted it specificiously to catch his eye.

Methoughted, "OK, my "Folly" Gwyn bro's a busy man, got a business to run. Woman to keep in mink.

He needs a Power Wordsmith, a well considerated dictionary-whupping expertista who'll achieve very good results.

“Way – Hey! R E E E S P E E E C T!”

Yessir, that were me aussi: Maestro of Dictionarial Disguise.

Didja notice how GH totally missed both those killer copy lines?

Wealth slows a man. Age. Loses him touch with selling copy how she is wroted.