LENTLY LENTLY

That's how the father of the family with whom I stayed in Reims tutored me on comment ouvrir une bouteille de champagne. I've used 'lentement' since.

And lently lently was I driving en route back from town, having spotted ahead of me at the new-hospital turning a woman of the area who gives us nowt but grief. I wanted to see where exactly she lives so I kept a slow distance.

Having marked her maison, I just kept up the easy pace and v useful it was:

At the Temploni turning, an idiot with Preveza plates ignored my right of way and swept round but I was ready and he got a bigger fright than me at how it might have been if I'd been a taxi

Turning sharp right onto the narrow lane that leads to our place - an excuse for me to dift and whip up some dirt - two ladies were chatting. Nae problem, I was right there and they even nodded approval at my caution.

Just round the 3rd corner, a lady walking an unleashed dog. All cool and Fido lives to jaywalk another day.

Further on - panicked parents calling to 2 children in the middle of the road. I just stopped for them to gather their chicks, nodded to their effusive thanks and the mother's salute to my safe driving ("So many drive like maniacs here." Yes'm, I thought, you're talking about me)

And back home where Sam, accustomed to playing thrilling 'chicken' as I roar up the drive was utterly thrown by my modest pace and even stepped back under my wheels.

As I laid the papers before maman she said almost accusingly "I didnt hear you get back. Something wrong the car again?".